Your House is Burning Down!
I really don’t know what to say. I appreciate your comments, but we are still not seeing it. I’m still in a season of speechlessness. I’m at a place where I feel like my whole continent is shaking at the roots. The whole world is crashing in. The paradigm I have been comfortably operating in is imploding, and I can’t presently see where else to go. I am a man in a house that is fully ablaze. There is no time to decide anything. It is only time to run. Run away from the flame. Get out of the house. NOW!
I don’t think it is helpful to simply tweak the system. I don’t think it is important anymore to upgrade our theology. I don’t think it does a bit of good to provide a new edition to our doctrine. I think it is a waste of time to solidify a new position. Not another dogmatic theology?! Not another denomination?! Not another congregation with a new vision?! Not another religious blog?! Not another spirituality?! Not another strategy?! Not another program?! I’m sick of these. They are lukewarm. I spew them out of my mouth! They are tasteless, unhealthy, lack any nutrition, and are in fact toxic.
I want to make it clear that I am not unhappy with the community I am a part of. I have no problem with the communities of people out there. It is something else. It is the boat we sail in. It is the overarching paradigm which constantly tries to confine us by conforming us to itself. I think our community is quite free in many ways, and I appreciate it. It has been grueling but rewarding because of that. But we are still under the yoke of bondage because we all come to the community with visions of what it should be rather than seeing what it actually is. We are still not entirely free of expectations and the resulting judgments. Which means we still have not come to a place of love. We have yet to die to all that came before. The cross is still before us, and we are not yet nailed to it.
The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Mark Hemmings, and is from his Mannequin series. I thought it was appropriate that this mannequin is in a posture of prayer. It reminds me of us: it is only a posture, but there is no substance. We are not yet real. We are not yet alive because we refuse to die.
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Does it matter if we pray on a proper posture?
Does God hear our prayer if it is longer?
Do we need to pray aloud?
Some of the questions that are still bothering me …
“But we are still under the yoke of bondage because we all come to the community with visions of what it should be rather than seeing what it actually is.” (NP)
True. I think that is part of the fundamental flaw of the whole church system - expectations. We are expecting this and that and seeing something altogether different - mainly with flaws and flawed people. I think it is okay to be flawed but to be reaching for the best possible goal for one’s life (or simply setting goals). If the church people could get this down we would see less judgement and more community - and actually I hope the day comes when we can all be one with another yet full of questions. We are never going to be the same - and for me to ask you to be ‘like-minded as me’ is a too unrealisitic a task (and wrong on my part to do).
But as an addendum to this - I also think we need to strive for a better understanding of our faith in our respective denominations. I have noticed a huge flaw in the definition of beliefs with regards to our faith - we are mixing things up on a few levels. I see the ideas of ‘faith based beliefs’ being muddied more and more as I look into Christian thought and what types of ‘beliefs’ are important.
Faith based beliefs would be like if the flood was real, Adam and Eve were real, is Jesus in the Trinity, or is predestination true? Can we prove any of this beyond a strata of a doubt - likely not - yet we are seeing these types of things being hailed as very important to make a ’stand on’ - even in doctrinal statements. Do any of those beliefs help your value system? No.
I see in the gospels a whole other type of idea about belief - that requires our participation in order for that belief to be true/real. The teachings on judgment, greed, forgiveness, love, and do unto others falls in here. I have seen these beliefs become like ‘faith beliefs’ in that if a person merely says they believe them to be true then they are considered correct. But wait - these one’s require action to be true - and without it they are not beliefs at all (if someone says it but does not live it - do they truly believe what they say?). These beliefs require production of some sort before we can honestly say ‘I believe it’. If you say you ‘love your neighbor and rob his home - you lie’…or ‘if you say you love God but treat another person as inferior due to their race - you lie’ - and this is where we see what Jesus is teaching compared to what our churches are now teaching - ‘follow me’ is an action.
I think it is interesting to note this since I rarely see this brought up anywhere on the net or in churches - maybe the fine line in the sand Jesus drew at the stoning of the young lady was just this - ‘what you do with truth’ is more important than what ‘you think is truth’.
Love is the hardest thing. But I want to do it.
Using your metaphor of the house burning brings up some interesting connections for me. You can run out of the house and or you can burn with the house and like a phoenix rise from the ashes. There are two types of cleansing, by fire and by water.
Karma means to burn. In certain forms of Buddhism Nirvana means to extinguish. To reach Nirvana one stops generating any kind of Karma, bad or good. This is why Buddhism is often regerred to as the middle path. To me this is an eastern description of grace. Basically quit trying and start being.
To me there are strong indications that Jesus had some contact with Buddhist thinking. For one, the statement “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth” is almost word for word what Buddha said almost 500 years before Jesus. There is some evidence that Buddhist missionaries were present in Rome and in Palestine and would have been part of the religious dialog. Both Christianity and Buddhism have been called “The Way.”
I, personally, believe that what we call Christianity today is simply churchianity and has little to do with anything resembling a spiritual path. I can fully understand why Christopher Hitchens and other athiest writers consider many of the teachings of modern Christianity child abuse. Rather than being spirit giving I have found and experienced many core doctrines of Christian belief to be spirit killing.
You may be awakening to the realization that Christian community has not only been abusive to children, but may be abusive to anyone. I know this is difficult for many people to hear, but I think if you honestly check with your heart you may have to admit that the emperor has no clothes.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Exactly!!! Toss it all out the window and start over completely. Get rid of most of the rules and make new ones. Ones that allow freedom of expression, of speech, and of spirit. Go back to the old days when Church, true church began in 1AD. They had to make it up for themselves. It was not formulaic, and it was everyday. Not just one day a week. No announcements, worship time, offereing time, etc… Just being together to be together and honor God. Get out of the burning wreckage, (was that you that left the matches out for the kids to play with) and start a new.
I am sorry, man, but you sure use a love of “we” in your thoughts.
“”But we are still under the yoke of bondage because we all come to the community with visions of what it should be rather than seeing what it actually is. We are still not entirely free of expectations and the resulting judgments. Which means we still have not come to a place of love. We have yet to die to all that came before. The cross is still before us, and we are not yet nailed to it.”
“”But we are still under the yoke of bondage because we all come to the community with visions of what it should be rather than seeing what it actually is.” YOU MAY STILL BE UNDER BONDAGE; HOWEVER NOT ALL OF US ARE. IT WAS MANY YEARS AGO THAT I WAS ABLE TO SEE “what it actually is.”
“”We are still not entirely free of expectations and the resulting judgments.”" WHO ARE THE “we?” AND WHERE IS IT WRITTEN THAT WE SHOULD EXPECT FREEDOM FROM EXPECTATIONS AND JUDGEMENTS? AND IF YOU USE MATTHEW 7:1–WELL I CAN PREACH YOU A WHOLE SERMON ON THAT.
“”Which means we still have not come to a place of love.”" WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR?
“” We have yet to die to all that came before.”" AGAIN, WHO ARE THE “we?” YOU HAVE NO IDEA IF I OR OTHER HAVE NOT DIED TO “all that came before.” YOU CAN ONLY SPECULATE–AND THAT WOULD BE ARROGANT.
“”The cross is still before us, and we are not yet nailed to it.” NO, SOME OF ARE NOT ‘yet nailed to it.” CHRIST TOOK ME OFF IT. HE DIDN’T STAY ON IT, AND HE DOESN’T WANT US TO STAY UPON IT.
Sorry I sound so harsh.
You need to go fishing with me. We are having a huge run of Steehead, and I have been out about 25 times since June. They are catching fish all around me, and I haven’t even had a hit in those 25 times out. Well if you don’t count the rattlesnake that just missed me.
There is nothing like hiking up a rattlesnake infested river to get to a place to stand in water up to your waste–catch no fish, then have to walk back out.
You are an artist. You like art. Get out into God’s art gallery. You need some new perspectives–Go watch an Osprey dive for dinner. Go find a deer fighting with a coyote. Coyote lost. Go drive a wheat truck with no air but the rolled down window in 100% temps. Real life looks different from that seat.
You say your whole world is crashing in. You say you feel like you are in a house fully ablaze. Then get out and run to saftey. And with a house fully ablaze, there is lots of smoke–you can’t see to well. So you need to listen to the voices that are trying to guide you out of the burning house. Get your family out and leave all your idols behind. They have no value. Just pack up God and go. Go fishing up some rattlesnake infested river–you will see things from a little different view. You just might find you like the change.
MAKE IT a great tomorrow. MAKE IT!
fishon
You'’re in a season, you see, you feel, you think, you appreciate….
So….I’m curious….what are you going to….do?
The day I am fully happy with myself as part of the community I am in, or the day I am completely happy with the community that I am a part of is the day that I should walk away from it all - sometimes we just have to thank God for the restlessness of striving after that which we can never attain this side of glory - the boat we sail in is but a flawed vessel because of the materials used in it’s construction..us! but it is a vessel of grace and guided by One who knows where we need to sail and what waters we need to navigate even if those waters are rough and choppy to the point of despair we shall be guided through, flawed vessel that we are.
I would encourage NP to stay in the burning house. I enjoy listening to Shane & Shane’s new album and the song “Burn Us Up.” It’s about how Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendago refused to bow down to the king.
The lyrics are “Burn us up. Oh, king won’t you burn us in the furnace your desire. We give up. Oh won’t you throw us in the fire.”
God met them in the fire. I wish…Oh, how I wish there was another way to become intimate with God. The fire takes away what we are familiar with…the rules, the expectations, our pride.
I no longer believe that fullfillment of the Kingdom of God will happen inside a church building. People searching for God may go to church…but when they leave they realize that they have the smell of shit on them. The aroma of Christ isn’t there, just the aroma of systematic religion.
Flames hurt (DUH); letting go of our systems is painful; but, walking into the presence of a dangerous God - is awesome.
a few days ago i wrestled with an angel. the day after, i was given two angels to wrestle with. the next day i was given three. and the next, four. today i was given five angels to wrestle with!
i’m not sure why god (i assume it is god) keeps on adding angels… because i’ve still not won a single bout!
David, it sounds like you have been reading some of Yacconeli’s writings.
There is a vivid truth to the metaphor of a “house burning down” within the overarching paradigm that we have grown accustomed to as “the church”. I don’t think a new program or denomination, vision or anything is going to help us if we don’t learn to lay aside the incompatible doctrines and philosophies that we have come to count on as our way of being “spiritual”.
For the church and every believer, I want to come back to a place where anything, absolutely anything is possible with God, and expecting it…. that anything will happen. To lay aside the routine and the overripe spirituality that has so infected us and begin to truly worship without the vain mumblings that we so often recite.
I feel your frustration, and I see the toll that it has taken in our community of believers too. They are there, but barely hanging on with any hope that God is more powerful than the impotent spirituality that can at times overtake them.
I discovered your blog today. Your thoughts resonated with me. It’s nice to know there are others willing to publicly wrestle with kingdom dynamics. I can no longer trust those who say they have it all figured out.
I will return to read more.
ah dave. i love ya
Your posts sound as if this is a pregnant time, complete with the birthing pains. May I companion with you quietly as you await the appointed time?
I appreciate this post for it resonates with my soul, but I want to clarify that these thoughts are our own human thoughts coming through via the flesh. They grow from the lies of the enemy that tell us we are not worth anything, they produce fear and condemnation within us. Satan attempts to divert our attention from Christ onto ourselves. We wrestle with all this, yes, but it is a wrestling match that we have already won. Our flesh has been crucified with Christ. So, I want to point out a few thoughts.
You said, “But we are still under the yoke of bondage because we all come to the community with visions of what it should be rather than seeing what it actually is. We are still not entirely free of expectations and the resulting judgments. Which means we still have not come to a place of love. We have yet to die to all that came before. The cross is still before us, and we are not yet nailed to it.”
The only bondage that we find ourselves in as Christians are self-constructed prisons. Jesus has set us free but we can choose to crawl back into those prisons that he has delivered us from, and we often do. This reinforces the false perception that we are still in bondage. No, we are not in bondage, we just choose to remain in the prison that Jesus has set us free from. We rattle the bars and remain passive in our discomfort. Yet, we stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that the prison door is not locked. Not only that, Jesus indeed has set us free and has given us the key to those prisons. We can lock ourselves back in, or leave the prison altogether and throw away the key. What choice will you make? I will choose to follow Christ, regardless of feelings, or fear of bondage. I am free!
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” - Galatians 2:20
This puts our perspective back where it belongs - away from me and back on Christ.
“Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.” - Hebrews 3:1
Hi, just discovered your site and have been browsing around.
There’s just something about naked, isn’t there? To me, it’s comfortable and freeing.As a Southerner I do have a different pronunciation: “Nekkid.”
Have you read the book “Searching For God Knows What” by Donald Miller? It’s one of my fav’s and I re-read it from time to time. He has a whole chapter on Naked! He is a funny dude with a deep subject. I recommend it.
Anyway……it is refreshing to see a believer practicing authenticity aka (nekkid-ness)…and for a believer who’s a man….COOL…..and one who’s a pastor…WAY COOL.
I hear your emotion in this last post and emotions do tend to cloud things up so you may not even be able to answer this question……a question to ask yourself. What is God telling you to do? Maybe you’ve asked and not heard yet. A hard place to be.
I will be praying for you to have eyes to see and ears to hear. Sandy
Gord,
You use a lot of words to say essentially nothing. What is your point, in plain language?
You said “This puts our perspective back where it belongs - away from me and back on Christ” which I think is a worthless sentiment. David clearly needs to focus on how he feels, and not submit, yet again, to the tired feelings of guilt and yes, bondage, that you seem to be espousing.
David,
You seem to be a wise and compassionate man. Get out. Become a therapist or something. It’s time to realise that religious dogma helps nobody but the people at the top. Set yourself free.
Personally, I think Gord said it best:
“The only bondage that we find ourselves in as Christians are self-constructed prisons. Jesus has set us free but we can choose to crawl back into those prisons that he has delivered us from, and we often do. This reinforces the false perception that we are still in bondage. No, we are not in bondage, we just choose to remain in the prison that Jesus has set us free from. We rattle the bars and remain passive in our discomfort. Yet, we stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that the prison door is not locked. Not only that, Jesus indeed has set us free and has given us the key to those prisons. We can lock ourselves back in, or leave the prison altogether and throw away the key. What choice will you make? I will choose to follow Christ, regardless of feelings, or fear of bondage. I am free!”
I know I have put myself back into that cell of guilt, and this paragraph is such an inspiration for me to get out.
Darren,
I appreciate your criticism, so I will try to say in a few sentences what my main point is.
1. David posted this out of transparency to answer a cry in his spirit that he still feels like he is in bondage. (correct me if I am wrong David)
2. Christ has set us free from ALL bondage.
3. We must fix our eyes on Jesus and live out our life in the freedom and grace that Jesus alone has provided.
The feelings of bondage that we all carry are real, I am not dismissing that because as I said in my post, it resonates with my soul as well. Its just that these feelings of bondage and condemnation we feel are not from God.
Let me explain if I can.
We feel like we are still in bondage and that brings a sense of unworthiness, guilt, and feelings of “I am not worth loving.” This is a lie from the enemy to deceive and destroy us. Our flesh also lies to us. Denial is the worst deception - it is self-deception.
Jesus thought all of us worthy enough to love, to even die for. If God thought we were worth that much, to come and set aside his glory and give his life for us, than we should not have these feelings of bondage but of thankfulness and freedom.
The real battle is not that we doubt our faith, but that our flesh still stands to condemn us. It is why we come to the cross - daily.
“For there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus…” - Romans 8:1
Abundant Blessings,
Thanks for your encouragement and being able to admit your own feelings of bondage. Remember, Jesus has indeed set us free. Amen.
David,
I appreciate the post. It has caused me to re-evaluate where I stand in Christ.
This reminder is glorious.
Blessings to you all!
Gord,
Thanks for your reply, but it seems to me you’ve just repeated yourself and not clarified anything. What does “The real battle is not that we doubt our faith, but that our flesh still stands to condemn us” actually mean? It’s an empty phrase, full of words and devoid of meaning.
I’ll ask again: what is your point, in plain language?
You keep on saying “Jesus has set us free” but it seems to me that is precisely the opposite of how David is feeling, if I’ve understood his recent posts correctly. Why do you think you’ve been set free when it’s arguable that the notion of Hell with which Christians are terrorised has set you in bondage in the first place?
And I completely disagree with what I think you are saying in this paragraph: “We feel like we are still in bondage and that brings a sense of unworthiness, guilt, and feelings of “I am not worth loving.” This is a lie from the enemy to deceive and destroy us. Our flesh also lies to us. Denial is the worst deception - it is self-deception.” - isn’t it the case that the bible teaches you to feel guilty and unworthy? It sells both the cure and the malady, and you have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.
Who is this enemy you keep referring to? I think you are looking in the wrong direction.
Who is in denial here? It looks very much to me that it is you, and not our friend David, who is finally opening his eyes from (yet another) dogmatic theology.
Darren,
I refuse to hi-jack David’s thread to argue with you concerning truth, or the lack of it.
If you wish to discuss anything further you may make a comment on my own blog and I can try to clarify my position a little clearer. Yet, I feel that this too would be useless since you deny the truth of the gospel. So, unless you contact me through my own blog, this will be my last post here on this topic, and my last reply to you.
I pray that Jesus will find your heart, and you his.
Blessings.
The Lord, 1st Century: “I will build my church.”
Paul to Timothy, shortly after: “Find faithful men and pass this tradition down.”
The Apostles’ successors, next three centuries: die for faith, write liturgies, establish canon of scripture, doctrine, and practice based on that tradition. Church built.
The Church: for 1,000 years: “I believe in one holy, universal, and apostolic church”
Christians in 1054 AD: Church splits, East from West, supposedly over a minor point in the doctrine of the Holy Spirit but more deeply over whether the Bishop of Rome is Pope. West called Roman Catholic; the rest called Orthodoxy in the East. The East retains most apostolic cities and the language of the scriptures; West turns Latin.
Roman Catholicism for the next 500 years: fights Islam; embraces rationalism and scholaticism
The Roman Catholic West by 1500 AD: thoroughly corrupt and ineffective; soon a number of reformed churches split off
Reformed churches through 1500’s and 1600’s: can’t ultimately agree on doctrine and procedure; establish a number of denominations
The Protestant churches in the early 1800’s: Some go anti-supernatural, while others become revivalist; cults proliferate
The Revivalists in the late 1800’s: Become fundamentalism; denominations splitting and replicating all over the landscape
The Fundamentalists in the 1950’s: Evangelicalism splits off over insularity and harshness and embraces pop culture; charasmatic movement desperately trying to recover supernaturalism
Evangelicalism in late 1990’s, 2000’s: Begins to “emerge”
Emergent Church 2000’s: has become utterly cynical, displaced, and incoherent; surrounded by thousands of competing denominations and cults has watched the degeneration of the Christian West building speed; knows the ship is sinking.
Unaltered Eastern Orthodoxy right now: “Come back.”
You poor wretched people must creep quietly into an Eastern Orthodox church NOW and stay there worshipping, doing WHATEVER they tell you to do, UNTIL it all makes sense! Greek, Russian, OCA, whatever - it’s all the same faith and it was passed down from the apostles and I promise they will love you.
(Yes, I’m yelling. Just a little. I’m the Mom.)
May God have mercy on your souls.
read this blog:
http://fatherstephen.wordpress.com/