R & R
Pastors burn out. Communities of faith disintegrate.
So… pastors relax! It is wise for pastors to resist pressures to be something they are not. Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest! Pastors: rest! No longer comply to what others think you should be or what you yourself think you should be. You’ve been called just as you are to be exactly who you are. Relax. Rest in that.
Pastors, conversely: let your people relax. Let them rest. Do not ask them to be something they are not. Resist shaping them. Relieve them of all expectations. Let them come in and go out and find pasture. Do not make them more weary than they are. Do not lay one demand on their shoulders. They have divine permission to gather just as they are. Do not try to manipulate them into what you think they should be or what your tradition thinks they should be. Let them relax.
People, resist all pressures to become something you are not. Even if you are weary and heavy laden, still find the strength to be exactly who you are. Do not be condemned. Do not even judge yourself! You’ve been called just as you are to be exactly who you are. It is you that is loved, not the ideal you, but you… right now. Rest in that reality.
People, resist all temptations to wish your pastor to be something she is not. You’ve been brought together. Let your pastor rest. Do not try to shape him. Do not lay expectations or demands on her shoulders. Let him discover what it means for him to be a pastor in this particular situation. She may be weary or heavy laden. Do not pressure her. Enjoy the gift of each other’s company.
I am convinced that if we lift our expectations off of one another, our faith communities will become healthier places, composed of healthy pastors and healthy members. Burn out and disintegration will decrease.
burnout, christianity, church, community, expectations, ministry, nakedpastor, pressure, religion, spirituality Share This
Nice post, np!
Rest is good. The Lord will carry all our burdens.
In Genesis, part of the curse that we have brought upon ourselves is to “toil until we are dust.” This world will have it’s way with us. We must be productive or we are swept into the trash bin.
I only have the right to expect a few things of my pastor.
I have the right to be killed off by God’s strict demand of the law. (The pastor is obliged to preach God’s law…His demands)
I have the right to hear God’s forgiveness of my sins (all of them!) in the blood of his Son Jesus…that’s the gospel.
I have the right to receive the body and blood of Jesus. (His Supper)
That’s it. I believe every Christian has a right to expect these things from their pastor.
If a pastor refuses to perform any of these duties, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy…just a bad pastor. Not everyone is cut out to be a pastor and there are plenty of other vocations out there for God’s people.
Being a pastor is a tremendous resposibility. God bless God’s pastors!
- Steve M.
Fortunately I have no trouble saying no, but then I think I may be lazy…..or just of sound mental health: it’s a fine line.
If I heard you preach this in a sermon, I’m absolutely positive that I would have to forget my introverted tendencies and shout “AMEN!” at the first sign of a pause. I might even have to stand up and clap until I had no feeling left in my hands. This is so true, David.
“You’ve been called just as you are to be exactly who you are.”
Is “as you are” the same as “who you are?”
—If so, then “You’ve been called just as you are to be exactly who you are” is a crock.
fishon
[…] Pastors, conversely: let your people relax. Let them rest. Do not ask them to be something they are not. Resist shaping them. Relieve them of all expectations. Let them come in and go out and find pasture. Do not make them more weary than they are. Do not lay one demand on their shoulders. They have divine permission to gather just as they are. Do not try to manipulate them into what you think they should be or what your tradition thinks they should be. Let them relax.” link […]
Should I assume that this does not apply to people who are simply lazy, people who wanted to be Christians without facing the “demands” of Christ?
And can I assume this does not include encouraging and motivating people to “feed the poor” and “fight for the oppressed” and such?
Have you, in your years of pastoring find this way of pastoring to be the best? Is there a danger of this leading to apathy? Just wondering, since you’re more experienced than me, and I’m not a pastor.
“I am convinced that if we lift our expectations off of one another, our faith communities will become healthier places, composed of healthy pastors and healthy members. Burn out and disintegration will decrease.” (NP)
I tend to agree - we need less peer presuure in the faith as it is. The community of people should be able to shape it is what it finds important to them - the ministries they want to run.
I also think people will define their faith as they see fit - what makes the most sene to them - it is not good to make people ‘fall in line’. We are all quite different with quite different needs and situations - and God can knows that.
I am all for a healthier church community (and community in general) - that we need to see a place with more acceptance and mentoring in a spirit of love. I don’t think the church needs to churn out ‘clones’ but thriving humans who in turn impact their homes, families, and friends (communities). Now how that is done - I leave at the feet of everyone to figure out a best route.
I think we need less psychobabble in our churches and more Jesus. Less us, and more Him. Less works and more trust. Less ‘religion’ and more faith.
I hope that made everyone feel comfortable.
I agree with you steve, but because it is difficult, slow, messy, tedious, frustrating etc etc, we hide behind doing what is easier, such as programmes, missions, reorganising our structure, getting a new logo etc, so we can fool ourselves into thinking we make progress. But what is the bottom line, in terms of the progress that God wants to see? “By this shall all men know you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.”
kim
Isaiah 30:15- “For thus saith the Lord God, the holy One of Israel: In returning and rest shall ye be saved; i quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not”
Isaiah 28: 12-”For with stammering lips and another tongue will He speak unto this people. To whom He said, “This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing: yet they would not hear”
While I do not demand the above verses to be a requirement for what the Church has come to call “tongues”, there is yet a place in Him that we can reach, if only from time to time, where we are refreshed and renewed, a place where lwords aren’t necessary and we flow with Him through an inner connection.
I bring this here only because I’ve always told people that the best way they can find such place is to “relax”. Relax in Him-that’s the key. If we relax in ourselves, we tend to hand ourself the reins and just end up in a bigger mess….
I know for me this “rest” doesn’t come easy. Not in my personal life or my church life. Should these two be separate? As a single mom my load is extremly burdensome at times. I have a natural bent to want to do more. Achieve more. Earn more. Feel more. It is in my times of burn out that I rememer that ‘his yoke is easy’ and ‘burden light’. It is I that make the burden heavy and the yoke much to big for me to bear.
I do yearn for that rest. I yearn for the peace that comes from being in a community that I don’t have to “be a part of”….where I just am who I am and what I am. And I am loved and accepted for that. Where I can become that fullness that he do desires without me killing myself in the process or allowing others expectations bruise me.
Beautiful post NP. Thanks for reminding me to breathe. XOX
Kim,
Very well said. Good thoughts on how we might act. “Love one another.”
Thanks!
- Steve M.
“If so, then “You’ve been called just as you are to be exactly who you are” is a crock.” (Fishon)
How is this a ‘crock’ fishon? God calls us ‘as we are’ to be exactly ‘who we are’ - I don’t actually see the problem with the sentence. ‘We are who we are’ - the human version of ‘I am who I am’ - we are humans created in God’s image - stained by the choices we are able to make - but loved.
The truest fulfillment God can give us is to be the ‘best us’ - enacting the teachings - honoring God via willing acknowledgement. Buit we all start at the same point - no faith in God and equals in need. God allows us to become what we become - but we do not become not us anymore - ever.
A believer in Christ (one that has been chosen) will be changed. There is no stopping the Living God from changing that person.
Will it be noticeable, and obvious? Sometimes it will be. Sometimes not.
Will that person become all the things that we think they should be? Of course not. We are not all the things that we think we should be.
God has given us the gift of wanting more. That we might improve our lot and the lot of others. We ought strive to be better. Realizing that we are never going to be better Christians. We don’t need to be! We already have inherited all that God has for us! But becoming better people is something that we should all strive for.
Thaks!
- Steve M.
Societyvs,
You ignored the question I asked. And the answer to that question makes all the difference to the sense of the statement.
You said: ‘We are who we are’ - the human version of ‘I am who I am’
—-Now that, my friend, really is a ‘crock.’ The only “human version of ‘I am who I am’ is Jesus as he walked this earth. Being made in the image of God does in no way shape or form equate us to a ‘human version’ of the creator.
To equate mankind to the ‘human version’ of ‘I am who I am’ is to either raise up mankind to a level that we are not, or to bring God down to our level.
fishon
“To equate mankind to the ‘human version’ of ‘I am who I am’ is to either raise up mankind to a level that we are not, or to bring God down to our level.”
I thought this is what Jesus did?
And I think there’s a misunderstanding concerning the “I am Who I am” part. It actually meant “I shall be Who I shall be” instead of “I’m Me and here I am.”
“The only “human version of ‘I am who I am’ is Jesus as he walked this earth. Being made in the image of God does in no way shape or form equate us to a ‘human version’ of the creator” (fishon)
What does it make us- we are created in God’s image - well, what does that mean then? Read the words ‘created in God’s image’ - now we can ascertain this is likely not a literal physical image thing (God is a Spirit) - then what image is it?
I never ignored your question fishon - answered it exactly. We are created by God a certain way - and we are to realize that fulness (as per God’s creation of us). We change - granted - but to another whole person…no.
“It actually meant “I shall be Who I shall be” instead of “I’m Me and here I am.” ” (zefi)
I have always taken the meaning of that statement as God stating to Moses - He is (the real One/God). This later sets up the first 2 commandments in Exodus 20.
David - this is a great way to begin Victoria Day weekend… thank you.
I think you took fishon’s statement out of context.
When he said:
“Is “as you are” the same as “who you are?”
—If so, then “You’ve been called just as you are to be exactly who you are” is a crock.
I think he’s just trying to point out that the statement is redundant.
“I have always taken the meaning of that statement as God stating to Moses - He is (the real One/God). This later sets up the first 2 commandments in Exodus 20.”
And when I explained that, I wasn’t trying to debate about the reason why God proclaiming such thing, nor was I trying to define the English translation of it. I was merely stating how it should have been worded if we were to literally translate the Hebrew version.
Whomever: the actual translation of that phrase in Exodus is: “I am (that) I am”. God is sayng that He creates His own existance out of His existing. I do not hear David saying that in his words, but rather expressing the truth that we need only relax, be who we are, and allow God to be who He is in us.
My slant on the matter, anyhow. Peace to all….
Ttm: Apologies on my gender slip in the post. Now you have me wondering-Theresa Tammy Moore? Tulula Tess Matthews? Titanium? No matter. I love the way you put your view of the Gospel into words…
David, that is terrific
I understand the concern of those who worry that it might lead to passivity and I guess a kind of smug self satisfaction. All I can say is, in my experience, the opposite is true. When I give up the struggle to be someone I’m not, accept myself the way I’m made, and cease being at war with myself, and rest, then I discover myself becoming the man I always wanted to be, but with no effort.
Long way to go, but now I trust the process, trust myself, trust God to do it - I just need to get out of the way
what a great piece of writing david. you have a way of expressing simple yet profound truth both succinctly and poetically.
“I am convinced that if we lift our expectations off of one another, our faith communities will become healthier places, composed of healthy pastors and healthy members. Burn out and disintegration will decrease.” ain’t that the truth!
Thank you, that is beautiful, just what i needed to hear today. It brought a tear to my eye.
I think Ultimately its as easy as this. When youre tired, Rest. When youre not, Do. Whats so difficult?
[…] David Hayward (nakedpastor) wrote a great post to both pastors and congregations about avoiding burnout that I just read today. We must resist the temptations and expectations to become something we are not. Here is the link. […]
[…] David (the NakedPastor) brings up the importance of rest. […]