Are We Cursed?
We had a small group meeting last night. People were talking about how awesome Sunday was… that a church can be that open, honest and authentic and expose it’s ugly side and ask some seriously unanswerable questions in a context of understanding, patience, and love (well, most the time).
As you will hear more and more about and I’ve commented on briefly before, we went through a church split 10 years ago. Since then we’ve made some enemies as a corporate church and as members of this church. Our character has changed quite a bit. Some have suggested that the Spirit has left the building, that we are cursed, and that we are under God’s condemnation and will never succeed.
And to be honest, we look cursed. There’s lots of pain in our congregation right now. We’ve had suicides and devastated families left behind. We’ve got missing children. We’ve got cancer, insurmountable debt, depression, anxiety, panic, bankruptcy, unemployment, doubt, unbelief, hard questions, rebellion, drunkenness, drugs, and many other sins. And that’ s just me! (Just kidding). We are, at first glance, a rather sorry lot. Which is why we get many people visit us for a bit and then leave. I think, as Jack Nicholson said, they can’t handle the truth! I’ve had people actually tell me, “There’s just too much pain here, too much suffering.” Sorry folks, but we gave up on triumphalism a long time ago. It doesn’t work for us.
But hang out with us for a while, and I think you’ll discover that we are no more cursed or are suffering more than anyone else. I think we are less ashamed to expose it, to let it out there, to be real. We have found a place that is relatively safe to be ourselves. No, we won’t fit your idea of what a Christian is, that’s for darn sure! But you will find real human beings here who’s hearts are, I think, some of the time, inclined towards the Lord and are looking for him. What more do you want? If this is what it means to be cursed, sign me up. The pic is from deviantart and is called “Curse“. Look closer, and you’ll see the beauty.
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It seems to me that you guys have all the normal ills of any church or community, except you have removed most of the pretension and hypocrisy that makes most churches seems “perfect”. Meaning, you actually talk to each other. I heard a really smart guy the other day say, “life is what happens to you while you were planning to make things happen”. If that’s a curse you guys have, where can I get some? A guy once tried to come up with the perfect picture of a Christian and made the mistake of asking me what I thought. I asked him if he knew what Christians and serial killers have in common. answer; they look like everyone else. Fallen…cursed….open…real….naked. Whatever it is I hope it spreads.
i literally ‘lol’ed’ at the “and that’s just me!” part. i think all the things listed are the reasons why your community must be doing something right. who wants to wear a plastic smile to church? only those who enjoy a costume party. no thanks. take me to a church that is a hospital where people don’t lie about their diagnosis, and where it’s not just the doctors who care for the sick but the patients care for one another. take me there, and i’ll get closer to God in their midst, because i’ll be able to face what ails me too…i won’t be alone—and that is incarnational power.
and to those who comment ‘there’s too much suffering here’….well, have they been to north korea where christians literally have to live in holes in the ground so as not to be killed? what about darfur? what about living in fear that you will be abducted by rebel armies, so you travel just to have a safe place to sleep at night? (invisiblechildren.com).
i think if c.s. lewis were to write “the screwtape letters” again today, he’d list ‘triumphalism’ as satan’s number one strategy to weaken the church.
I suppose my above comment seems insensitive and needs qualification. I should not have downplayed whatever suffering is happening. I was just trying to communicate that suffering seems to be the norm for the church in most parts of the world.
I didn’t understand it any other way. Thanks Jo!
I love this piece, David. It’s taken us such a long time to verbalize much of the change we’ve gone through over the past years. It’s been so muddy at times. THis is very clear. The pic is absolutely beautiful. Thanks.
I see nothing but beauty in the picture and I see nothing but beauty in our church body. Yes the suffering at times is great and can feel overwhelming to the individual.. but the beauty of community rising up in the midst of the suffering… it’s breathtaking.
And I know some have said that we are so laid back that we excuse sin. That has not been my experience nor have I witnessed that. Sin is sin… it’s not watered down.. it is what it is. But .. and here is what they miss.. GRACE is GRACE!!! And grace is far bigger than my sin.
I look into the eyes of people weekly and see them.. who they truly are. And it’s so nice because for years I have looked into the eyes of robots.
Thank you for this journal entry David. Thank you for showing me authenticity even when it’s hard and unaccepted. I am learning to not give two hoots to what man’s opinion is… just beginning to learn… wow.. what an eye opener.
Can I wrestle with this with you? I’m not disagreeing with you at all but I’m struggling with an aspect in our lives that I think pertains to what you’re blogging about. So here it is. In our desire to be honest, authentic and true-faced in our little community I find that sometimes when we come together in small groups people primarily want to (even if they have to search hard for it) have a negative to share. That somehow we can only be authentic if we’re lamenting or struggling or not happy with what God is up to. I’m afraid that, in our case, the freedom to be honest has made us swing wide into a place that’s as dishonest as the bright, shiney, happy people.
I want to find that radical middle where we can rejoice in our suffering. That place where we can be hurting but still throw a damn good party.
I’m a firm believer that no one should follow a leader who doesn’t walk with a limp but I don’t think we should make the limp the centre of who we are and what we do.
I’m not saying you’re saying that or doing that, I’m just wrestling with my own stuff and the thoughts your blog has provoked for me.
over - n - out
B
Brian M., I appreciated your post. I think if it was all negative all the time we would be missing the most important componant. In the midst of it all, ( good bad ugly) the simple truth is God is who is good, is love. There is such relief in being loved as you are, not as you prop yourself up to be……………….and! man can we party! Its one of our favorite things!
Though I have never visited your church, my experience in other situations would lead me to wonder if that people are so hurt because they care so much. Caring about the church, caring about each other, caring about following Jesus.
In my current church we have had two pastors be forced out because of affairs. (Over 50+ years) Then within the past few months the spouse of one of our pastor’s has abandoned him. I keep hearing from people, “Why Does This Always Happen to us?” Then I juxtapose the statistics from Focus on the family about the marriages of pastor’s and realize it happens to us a lot less then the average. It seems to me that we believe it happens to us more than our fair share because we care…we are passionate about our church and each other…so the pain is greater. Again, if you believe the statistics, we are below average! Praise God, my church is below average!!
Believe me, if I am ever up your way I want to worship with you guys. You seem real. The Naked Church with the Naked Pastor. God Bless!
brian: i’d have to agree with jill… man, can we throw a party! but you are right and put forward a very real question and valid concern. there is the constant danger of becoming morbid. the trick is, as you say, to learn how to be joyful in the midst. right on!
jeff: you are, of course, welcome any time. thanks for the rich comment.
The church has swung the “triumphalism” side of things for so long that it may well take some time on the other side before we get balanced out (I hate that word - since when are we ever balanced???). One thing is for sure, I want to learn to praise Him in the prison - paul did and look what happened to that place!!! Isaiah 51 talks about the Lord making her wilderness like Eden…