nakedpastor

Lisa does not hesitate to sit me down and draw to my attention things that I’ve done or said that are wrong or hurtful. Like a skilled surgeon, she will take that incident and trace its cancerous shoots back to the ugly root that is embedded in my fallen brain with its sinful thought-patterns. I’d do the same for her. I never ever question her love for me. In fact, this kind of exercise is profound evidence of her love. This is what love does.

The truth should set you free. So anything that doesn’t lead to the liberation of the human being must be rejected. In order to reject it, the idea or action must be analyzed and critiqued. I think everyone is responsible for this task. And I think this must be even more intensive within the church and its leadership because the church, like any other human institution, is prime culture for deception, abuse, bondage and slavery. I firmly insist that the gravitational pull of institutions such as the church is towards falsehood and bondage. I’ve experienced it first-hand, not only as a recipient but also as a donor.

Make no mistake: when I critique the church and ministries going on in her name, when I critique other people’s ideas and activities, when I let loose on the goings-on in religion, this doesn’t mean I hate the perpetuators. This doesn’t mean I think God hates and rejects the person thinking or doing those things. This doesn’t mean I don’t count that person as my sister or brother. But if their ideas and activities are questionable, I’m going to question them. And I hope someone would do the same for me. I don’t agree with the popular opinion out there that all roads go to heaven. Nor do I believe that all ministries lead to the same benefits. There’s lots of dangerous crap out there. I think we need to be the severest critics of all that we think, say and do! Do we want others to be free or not? Do we want to be free ourselves?

The tattoo was created and applied by my friend Zara Leaf. The fairy looks like she’s losing her bonds.

Please excuse me for using an analogy that is dated and offensive for some people. But as a pastor (a word taken from the root word for shepherd), I often have a useful picture of myself dressed in shepherd’s clothes with a shepherd’s crook sitting in the grass leaning against a tree overlooking the flock. The flock is gently grazing in the lush grass or lying down or drinking from the nearby stream. I might have a book in my hands or a guitar, and I simply pass the day making sure that there is no danger approaching, that the sheep are not being harmed by another one, that the water is pure and the grass is poison-free. There’s some veterinarian work to do, some meandering travel, some minor intervention, but that’s it. Nothing else. Nothing at all. We pass the day, and every other day should hopefully be the same. I think that this is good pastoral ministry. In fact, I insist that this is pastoral ministry at its best!

I confess that I am very tempted to follow the bustling throng and, like most other shepherds seem to be doing, teach my sheep how to jump through hoops of fire, stand on their heads, form sheep-pyramids, shoulder a yoke and haul stone, hook them up to ploughs and clear forests and all kinds of other tricks. Or perhaps I could teach my sheep how to give me full-body massages. Or maybe they can chop pieces off themselves to cook me up something to eat whenever I get a hankering for lamb. Or, why don’t we just speed things up and I slaughter them all and sell their meat and turn their hides into sports-car seat covers? And I could sell the rams’ horns for shofars to blow during worship songs.

I was chatting with someone today who mentioned that it must be very very stressful being a pastor. “I just can’t imagine,” he said. I told him that the hardest part of pastoring for me is keeping things simple. Staving off all temptations for theatrics is the hardest part. Simply relaxing against that tree overlooking the flock doesn’t seem to cut it in popular opinion. Just letting the sheep be without micro-managing their rumps off is just too… too… too pastoral!

Oh… look how even old posts can stir up the controversy we thought had settled!

And look how nice this guy is to me!

The pic is just one I dragged off the internet. A young man doing his mundane day to day passion as a shepherd. I think he’s beautiful.

I’m reading an awesome book, Leszli Kalli’s Kidnapped: A Diary of My 373 Days in Captivity. The young Leszli boarded a plane in Columbia to go work on a kibbutz in Israel. She never made it because the plane was hijacked by a leftist guerrilla group that lead her to a life in the jungle for the remainder of her captivity. I’m impressed with how early her wisdom kicked in:

My strength is slowly fading. I feel as if I’m sinking little by little, as if there is no way out of the huge hole I have fallen into. I just keep on falling and falling. I think the despair will taper off when I finally surrender to the situation and touch rock bottom.

A little later she writes:

I wish I could turn back the clock to tell them how I feel about them (friends and family), and I regret not having expressed my feelings in the moment… I swear that if I make it back, I will express all these things: who I am, what I feel, my fears and my truths, my joys and my sadness.

This confirmed to me something we try to practice in our community: honest appraisal of our condition and honest authenticity within it. I encourage people to hit rock bottom. And we promise to stay with them while they do so. We also encourage people to be vulnerable and real. And we’ll be vulnerable and real with them. We try not to withhold our affections in the midst of all this trauma. It’s a powerful reality that results from this determination. I don’t think these two revelations are mutually exclusive. They are partners. I’ve seen it here at our church: the more honest we are with our condition (i.e. my life SUCKS!), it creates the atmosphere for authentic expression, which is chaotic but also beautiful. It’s real, let me tell you!

To be honest, the people I mostly am in contact with, who are attracted to my blog and to our church community have mostly experienced the encouragement of denial towards life and pretense in the midst of this denial. This isn’t just a religious problem, a Christian problem or a church problem, but a human problem that finds its greatest expression in religion and the church. It is a beautifully contrived escapism. The sooner we realize the truth of our condition, authentic living can be released in the midst of it. This is the way through.

I was also reading Oswald Chambers the other day in My Utmost For His Highest where he writes:

Sorrow is one of the biggest facts of life; it is no use saying sorrow ought not to be. Sin and sorrow and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them.

Something about Jesus, for the joy set before him, endured the cross. That about says it for our community too. So get used to it quick. Then find joy in the midst of it. This is what I believe is immediately necessary for honest, authentic and joyful community life.

The fine art photograph is the amazing creation of my friend Jorgen Klausen and is from his Mask Series.

Someone recently was telling me about the incredible testament to human achievement with the Great Wall of China… largely built, I’ve been told, through slaves and prisoner labor. Which got me thinking about another great human achievement, the Kolyma Highway in Eastern Russia, nicknamed “The Road of Bones” because the bones of those who built it… inmates of the gulags… were actually incorporated into the building materials which make up the road. Which got me thinking about another great human achievement, the Pyramids of Egypt, which, although arguable, were built from slave labour. Which got me thinking about so many other things that we enjoy today that have been produced directly from imposed cruelty and human suffering.

Which got me thinking about so much of the church today. I’ve heard all the justifications and made them myself. But nothing excuses the incredible human cost for some of the things we enjoy. Like ministries which verifiably rely on the outrageous support of the elderly and the poor for their success oriented lifestyle, personally and corporately. Sure, bigger better and richer reaches more people saves more people touches more people hires more people attracts more people etc etc etc… but it neglects the pain inflicted upon others along the way to get there. And I think it is inexcusable. I’ve been a part of ministries that glory in their success which has been directly built upon the foundation of the abuse of human beings. I’ve done it and I’ve been done to! Paul implied that we will continue to use the justification that we should sin so that good will result (Let’s sin more that grace will much more abound!), but that doesn’t excuse our sin. In no way. Yet we do it all the time. Yes, even small churches, house churches and poorer Christian leaders. We all are willing to impose pain and suffering on others for the desired good results. We do it all the time. The beginning of transformation is to first of all admit this horrific tendency in ourselves and in our organized religious institutions!

This awesome tattoo was created and applied by my friend Zara Leaf.

Yesterday I met with someone who asked about my message that morning. I insist that you can’t embrace the reality of the cross and pursue the security of success at the same time. I also said that we could increase the attendance at our church as well as the giving, but I can’t prioritize that with a clear conscience if I hold Jesus Christ and him crucified at the center of all I believe and do. This person asked, “What would you do, if you felt free to do it, that would increase the attendance and giving?” I’ve thought about it, and I came up with a rather cynical (yes, I know… unusual for me) list of 10 things you could do to achieve better attendance and giving:

1. Don’t allow people to participate in the worship band or any other prominent, visible ministry who don’t have excellent attendance and who don’t tithe.
2. Befriend the good, consistent supporters and avoid those who aren’t these things. Everyone wants to be in the inner circle.
3. Reward those who give with frequent public recognition and praise.
4. Teach that giving to the church is what gets God acting on our behalf.
5. Always concoct the impression that something great is just about to happen so that the level of anticipation keeps people coming, expecting the special event to happen at anytime. Keep the excitement level high and eliminate the darker realities of human emotions from the service.
6. Sow the idea that going to church whenever it is open is the same as being the church.
7. Never be afraid to use fear or guilt as a motivator for beneficial results. You must realize that these are the greatest causes for seeing almost immediately the effects you want.
8. Blame sin for the reason why people don’t advance in the church. This creates the idea that perfection is what produces promotion.
9. Use incentives such as fund-raisers, pledge campaigns, bake-sales, auctions… anything that will fondle money out of people who normally wouldn’t let go of it so easily.
10. Brand and market yourself and your church as wealthy, successful and positive, then play the part yourself. This will create the ethos of prosperity and success that attracts money.

Maybe you have some suggestions of your own?

The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Mark Hemmings and is from his mannequin series.