nakedpastor

I really don’t know what to say. I appreciate your comments, but we are still not seeing it. I’m still in a season of speechlessness. I’m at a place where I feel like my whole continent is shaking at the roots. The whole world is crashing in. The paradigm I have been comfortably operating in is imploding, and I can’t presently see where else to go. I am a man in a house that is fully ablaze. There is no time to decide anything. It is only time to run. Run away from the flame. Get out of the house. NOW!

I don’t think it is helpful to simply tweak the system. I don’t think it is important anymore to upgrade our theology. I don’t think it does a bit of good to provide a new edition to our doctrine. I think it is a waste of time to solidify a new position. Not another dogmatic theology?! Not another denomination?! Not another congregation with a new vision?! Not another religious blog?! Not another spirituality?! Not another strategy?! Not another program?! I’m sick of these. They are lukewarm. I spew them out of my mouth! They are tasteless, unhealthy, lack any nutrition, and are in fact toxic.

I want to make it clear that I am not unhappy with the community I am a part of. I have no problem with the communities of people out there. It is something else. It is the boat we sail in. It is the overarching paradigm which constantly tries to confine us by conforming us to itself. I think our community is quite free in many ways, and I appreciate it. It has been grueling but rewarding because of that. But we are still under the yoke of bondage because we all come to the community with visions of what it should be rather than seeing what it actually is. We are still not entirely free of expectations and the resulting judgments. Which means we still have not come to a place of love. We have yet to die to all that came before. The cross is still before us, and we are not yet nailed to it.

The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Mark Hemmings, and is from his Mannequin series. I thought it was appropriate that this mannequin is in a posture of prayer. It reminds me of us: it is only a posture, but there is no substance. We are not yet real. We are not yet alive because we refuse to die.

Every once in a while I want to start having guest writers and cartoonists on my blog. Today I’m featuring two cartoonists, both of whom read and comment on my blog with some frequency. I also visit their blogs on a regular basis. The first one is submitted by William Lehman of Artist Hideout. Thanks William. I hear ya dawg!

The next one is submitted by Jon Birch of asbojesus. Thanks Jon! Right on!

The night before last Lisa and I carried our cups of hot tea down to the beach to watch the sun set. Lisa got chilly so I wrapped my sweater around her. We had a few moments conversation, but then silence fell upon us as the majesty of the setting sun impressed itself upon us. The air started to cool as the light and heat of the sun diminished. The variety of clouds spread across the sky as though they were painted there by a skilled artist’s hand. And the colors. How magnificent. It was as if the sun was delighted… not only in how glorious itself was, but how glorious it made everything else. No words needed to be spoken. A respectful and silent benediction was the only appropriate posture. It was as beautiful as possible. Nothing could be changed for the better.

It is dangerous to fall in love with any system that intends to bring people to a certain goal. Soon enough you discover that people don’t always comply, and you get angry. Violence results. This is not love. Distrust programs. Be suspicious of agendas. Do not cherish any ideology. Abhor charting other people’s courses. You can’t even chart your own!

The photograph was taken by me on that night.

I was fooling around today and thought I’d come up with a list of 10 suggestions for keeping your sanity in church, or anywhere for that matter. It’s a little on the light side. Have fun!:

1. Be suspicious of all authority figures, especially those who bullishly claim to be.
2. If you feel herded and corralled like a breeder cow, break rank and fence.
3. Trust your animal instincts. Especially if a leader tells you it’s wrong to think that way.
4. If someone insists she’s a sheep, sniff for a wolf.
5. If you are told it is for your own good, turn on your heels like a spooked coyote and run!
6. Don’t be the eternal optimist who, furiously digging through all the manure, exclaimed, “There just MUST be a horse in here somewhere!” There is no horse.
7. If you think you smell a rat, you smell a rat.
8. If a leader acts like a weasel, then he or she’s a weasel.
9. Peacocks and pulpits do not belong together.
10. If a leader uninvited roots around in your personal life like a pig for truffles, kick him in the snout.

I’m a pastor so I can say these things.

The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Mark Hemmings and is from his Snow Monkey series.

I have started up my blog/ website devoted to my art and the arts in general called haywardART. I would appreciate it if any of you readers would tag it, feed it, add it to your blogroll, and spread the word, etc., etc. Thanks!

Silence is necessary. Space is necessary. I must keep silence for a while. There needs to be space between my words. It is because I realize that the word is not the thing described. The description is not the thing. The word is the crystallization of the thought. And because the thing is not the word and because the word is only the crystallization of the thought, I see that the thoughts I have in my mind about the Holy are not the Holy at all. Seeing the truth of that: that my words could never contain the whole because my thoughts could never contain the whole, I must keep silence. I must listen to this intently and reverently. I give the enormity of that truth the respect it deserves.

Outside my window is a gravel hill that leads up to a small but beautiful wood. The leaves are starting to change. They welcome with brilliance the death that awaits them with the oncoming fall. Oranges, yellows, reds, and reluctant greens call from the hilltop and testify to the beauty of life and the inevitability of death. Presently, two butterflies, as yellow as the sun, spiral upwards in a flight-dance of playful gesturing. What awaits these delicate creatures of universal beauty? For the snows are on their way, beneath which all will keep silence.

The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Mark Hemmings. You can read about its creation HERE.

This man is turning 50 on October 7. As his landmark birthday approaches, he finally realizes the empty futility of the accumulation of knowledge. He has sought hard and relentlessly for at least 30 years, seeking the truth, longing for the correct formula, craving the perfect key to unlock the mystery of life with all its suffering, struggles and sorrows. Even his ideas of God and religion have grown heavy and wearisome to him. He feels as though he is in a small boat on a mighty river and is about to round a difficult but necessary turn. There is resistance. There are currents that would discourage him from rounding the point. But the greatest obstacle is his own reluctance to die to all that has gone before. He has discovered already with the incredible sorrow that weighs upon him that there is nowhere to turn from it. It is on all sides. There is no magical thinking to assist his escape. But to see this, to recognize this, is the beginning of his liberation. He now sees that his attachments and dependencies have prepared the actual soil in which sorrow grows. He sees in dying to all these, as he rounds this treacherous point, that liberation and love will flow freely beneath his feet.

The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Jorgen Klausen, and is from his Mask series.