nakedpastor

Hey my dear readers. As of tomorrow morning, bright and early, I’m going to be on vacation for two weeks. I’ve had an exhausting and trying year, so I’m looking forward to the break. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to post while I’m away, but please stay tuned. Don’t remove me from your feeds or readers. I appreciate your thoughts as well as your prayers.

Oh! I just made up a joke:

Question: Did you hear of the guy who humbled himself before the Lord?
Answer: Neither have I.

Here’s another one: This Christian goes into a bar. (that’s it!)

I like being treated as a normal human being.

Yesterday a member of our community, someone I consider a friend, just dropped by my study with a cup of coffee, plopped in one of my chairs and just chatted away with me as if I was a normal human being. A friend. That person has no idea how much that meant to me. This person wasn’t looking for anything, didn’t think I had some special piece of advice stored upstairs somewhere, didn’t feel the urge to discuss theology or world events, didn’t treat me like I was a holy man or expect to be treated like a parishioner. It was so refreshing. It did me a lot of good. I was more blown away by the genuine gesture than the content of our conversation. No expectations, just like a regular friend. Oh my God, thank you.

I find more and more that I gravitate away from people who expect something of me or expect me to expect something of them. I am finding that I tend to avoid situations where it is assumed that I should act properly, holy, wise, pastoral, gifted, insightful, radical, christian, priestly, balanced or whatever. I prefer hanging out with people who don’t seem to get that I’m a pastor, that I am in the business of righteousness, that I am supposed to be concerned about changing the world, that I run a church enterprise, that I have an inside track to the Almighty, that I have answers, that I know how to fix their problems if they’d only ask! I abhor appreciation, which is just the baby sister of adoration, and both are the daughters of worship. Oh, I appreciate being appreciated and respected just as a person, but nothing more. But, I can smell pastor-worship a mile away and avoid it like the plague. I can sniff out religious expectation way up the road and will ditch to avoid it and warn everyone around me to do the same. Give me prostitutes, drunks and gluttons any day!

Which leads me to the very real realization that I must treat my brothers and sisters in kind. I vow to treat them with full respect as human beings. I will treat them as equals. I will not place any expectations on them. I will not suggest that I know how to live their lives better than they do. I will not insinuate that they are in any way less than I. I will not live before them as though I am special and deserve any form of immunity that they don’t enjoy. I will not imagine that my life is any more together than theirs. I will not assume that God loves me more and is better to me. I will treat them with love and kindness, just as I would from them. I will treat them, not as my servants, but as my friends.

I have some good news that I would like to share. Our church building has been sitting on about 18 acres of land. Over the past several years this land has increased in value. That’s normal. What’s unusual about this land though is that the value has sky-rocketed because it has become commercial, institutional and industrial land. We were approached a few months ago by a company wishing to purchase 4 acres from us. After all the conversations and lawyers and papers, we finally received our check today after the church mortgage was paid off yesterday. Remember back in 1997 we went through a devastating church-split which caused us to lose over two-thirds of the congregation. Our small little remainder has been carrying the same financial burden, such as almost $4,000/month mortgage payments, since then. Every year has been a struggle financially. When we went through the split I took a pay cut and since then just recently took one small raise. Now, after over 11 years, the financial burden is gone with some money to spare. What a journey! It has had a strange affect on me. I feel that through sheer determination and God’s help we have made it. Now that this battle is done, now what? It’s a strange feeling. I kind of feel like a warrior without a war. Been there before. When we are all back in September we plan on having one hell of a mortgage-burning party.

The pastor’s ego must be crucified if the pastor would love.

Yesterday the worship leader started and people interjected with things they wanted to share. People spoke here and there sprinkled among the several songs. People prayed for others. There was fellowship. Encouragement happened. It was a good day for the community. A really good day. And I watched it all happen.

As noon approached that I realized I wouldn’t be speaking that day. Besides, pretty much everything I wanted to say had already been said. I was silent as the service was carried along by others. When it was all said and done no one would’ve recognized who the pastor was. I didn’t need to be there. The rest of the day I was rather sober in my thoughts as I considered what all this might mean. On one level I could feel threatened, useless, replaceable, disposable, unappreciated. But on another level I was incredibly impressed with the community. They really don’t need me. They teach each other, pray for each other, encourage each other, help each other, love each other, all without my help, thank you very much.

I sense I am on the brink of a whole new way of living within this community, this fellowship of friends. And this community is on the brink of a whole new way of being a community. It excites me and scares me at the same time. They are my friends. I am theirs. They are my peers. I am their theirs. They are my pastors. I am theirs. They are my sinners. I am theirs. They are my saints. I am theirs. They are my brothers and sisters, my mothers and fathers, my children. And I am their father, their brother, their son. As my leadership grows no longer necessary, as my prominence is no longer required, as my face is no longer front page, as my body is no longer conspicuous, our mutual love will be shared, less hindered by rank. At one point I will meet the cross. Then I will truly consider as dung all my seminary education, my pastoral experience, my church life, and my theological knowledge and finally become one with them, my people.

I’ve been carrying some domain names for a while. I’ve finally decided to get rid of them. If you are interested in buying any of them, let me know what your offer is and I can PayPal you an invoice. Here they are:

1. theartsblog.com
2. faithfulblogger.com
3. pastor101.com
4. churchpundit.ca
5. churchpundit.com
6. badpastor.com
7. pastorrant.com

These are good .com names. Make an offer!!

This sketch is this week’s submission to Illustration Friday under the theme “enough”. This scene attempts to depict the anguish in Jesus’ last howl, “It is finished!” Indeed, it was enough.