nakedpastor

I had a dream last night. I’ll post it exactly how I wrote in my journal when I was drinking my first coffee: I am talking with two other men and we’re discussing some deep theological and philosophical issue. It is specifically the problem with time… that it is a creature that will also pass away with all things, so that even though it seems permanent, it is impermanent and is like a ghost… thin and fleeting because it is fallen and corrupted… but how we are to humble ourselves to it, submit to it while not becoming its slave… that it has something to do with the stewardship of it, obedience under it and our fallenness along with it. We must be willing to work within it while not being governed by it.

When I was writing this in my journal I thought of the title, Tilling the Garden and Other Things To Do When You Fall. In other words, even though the story of Adam and Eve teaches that, due to the fall, we and the land and all of creation are fallen and corrupted, we are to till the garden and with effort fight the weeds, thorns and stones in order for the land to be fruitful. This applies to all of life. We are called to be responsible stewards of our environment in spite of its condition. This is the call to our prophetic task. We are to challenge the weeds and thorns, not only in the physical earth (which would include agriculture, pollution, natural disasters, etc.), but the spiritual world also (which would include such things as politics, religion, environmental ethics, medicine, poverty, etc.). So, like a garden where we are neither to surrender to the weeds nor dominate the soil, but to work and nurture it towards fruitfulness; also in the world, we don’t surrender to the evil that would prevail if left unchallenged, nor do we dominate and crush the created order, but call it and challenge it towards humility, love and service in this world. We are to live free, responsibly and prophetically within the created and fallen order.

Heady dream!

This is this week’s submission to Illustration Friday’s theme today, “memories”. I drew this cartoon to express the determination and decision it takes to renew the mind… because it means letting the old mind die, or actually putting it to death. Like Paul asserted… all his intellectual and theological accomplishments were dead to him, as worthless as dung. Is it possible that memory may be the root and stronghold of suffering?

Today we are helping our son Jesse move to Fredericton to begin his B.A. studies. So I won’t be with a computer today. But I just want to share with you a story I told my community on Sunday:

I have a brother two years younger than I who has lived out west for decades. He left home when he was 16 for reasons I don’t need to get into. I’ve seen him only a matter of days these past 30 years. We hardly ever talk on the phone. But when we do talk, there’s a connection there, excuse the pun. I can’t explain it. We don’t see eye to eye on hardly anything. We aren’t on the same page in hardly any sphere. But when we talk we can talk for an hour. We can feel the love. The foundation of that love is not intellectual agreement, spiritual affinity, religious resemblance, personality compatibility, political likeness or anything else. Our union is that we have the same mother and father, period.

It’s the same with unity in the Spirit. The basis for our unity is not theology, denomination, belief, worship music style, liturgy, personal compatibility or anything like that. It is something that has happened that is beyond my control. Just like my birth parents form the foundation of my relationship and unity with my brother, so what God has done through Jesus, continuously applied by the Spirit, is the foundation of the unity with all people, regardless of religion, race, sexuality, culture or whatever. All efforts at visible unity are based on an invisible unity already secured and already real.

I had a sleepless night last night. I went to bed at 1am, woke up at 2am, and was up the rest of the night. I’m worried about my community. I always feel very inadequate as a pastor, in spite of my extensive theological education, pastoral experience and apparent gifting for it. “Apparent” I say because often it doesn’t seem apparent to me. And apparently it doesn’t to quite a few others also. Sometimes… no, most the time, I feel like I’m trying to herd cats. We are all inclined to pursue our own interests and go our own separate ways. The cohesiveness of the body is slight, fragile and never consistent. So I was awake all night worrying and praying, begging the Lord to please do something because I can’t seem to.

We never arrive… personally nor corporately. The moment you feel you’ve accomplished a certain level of security, poof!, it’s gone. Everything fades like grass and withers away. I realize that establishing some requirements, expectations and rules might alleviate the vacillating nature of our community, but that is not an option for me. I know that trying to guarantee a certain permanent level of comfort and security is not the way of the cross. So, as a result, I suffer nights like last night. Bottom line: it’s going to be up to the will of God and the will of the people to keep this community alive. God please, because I love it, this slender, delicate and lovely piece of your body.

Our worship leader lead us in this song this morning. He also showed us this video on our screen: