Vicky Beeching: come out and kicked out

"Vicky Beeching" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
“Vicky Beeching” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

I find the story of Vicky Beeching very poignant. Sad. Meaningful.

But I also find it increasingly typical.

Beeching was kicked out long before she was, and she intuitively knew it. If you read between the lines of the story that is similar across all news releases, you will see what I mean.

Some people would argue that she did this to herself. That she kicked herself out.

From a very early age she suspected she didn’t fit in. She went the usual route of repentance and forgiveness. Confession. Exorcism.

Finally, forced to be honest with herself after a bout with a serious illness, she came to terms.

She came out.

I celebrate this with her.

What I find sad about her story is that even though she feels a part of the evangelical family, she also feels like she doesn’t belong. Who did she go to for confession? Where did she find people to talk to about it? Where does she feel safe going to church? All outside her evangelical family.

Why I find this sad is because I know how she feels. I didn’t come out as gay, but I came out theologically at a great cost. Even though I still love my evangelical family, specifically the Vineyard church, for the most part I am safer not being a part of it. Even though I identify strongly with that family that I left, I don’t feel embraced by it any longer. I do by some individuals, but not by the family as a whole. Many of you know exactly what I mean.

I admire the courage of Beeching. She is fully aware of what this may cost her. Of course, she already came out to save her life. But she knows that her music will be removed from the song lists of many churches, and that essentially the way she makes a living… her royalties… will stop.

May a better way appear to her!

Do you struggle with your sexuality? Join us at The Lasting Supper! You will be met with care and understanding.

You can also read my story, The Liberation of Sophia… about how I came out theologically, escaped, and became free!


13 Replies to “Vicky Beeching: come out and kicked out”

  1. I still have my old man and sisters thinking that my being unsure of my gender identity and sexuality is a phase. I know of people I commuted with who refuse to talk to their SON.

  2. “Robotic”

    In sad moments, that is how life around me seems at times. And it happens on the secular level (the human level) — not just in religions. People conversations are often predictable, social expectations quiet the creative and the exceptional. The cults of sports, patriotism, acquisition and entertainment permeate the robotic secular life.

    As I have always said, the worse side of religion is its hold on the taboo switch— its ability to turn on guilt using sanctimonious triggers with threats of exclusion, death and hell. So though all faults are found both in the religious and secular (including robotic, mindlessness), religions often put coercion behind their ugliness.

    Concerning Vicky’s coming out, I saw a fine Turkish-German film last night with lesbianism being part of the theme — loved the film (link here), it shakes the robot while it educates.

  3. It’s true that she will lose all of those things… church family, royalties and respect. But she has a new family waiting for her… new fans, new play lists and new respect. She’s got this. I hope she doesn’t waste time and energy defending herself to the church. That is brutal and fruitless.

  4. @ Carla,

    The sad thing is that build community outside of the church is tough — that is how churches persist – for certainly they are dropping like flies from the theological and ritual angles.

    Thus, David’s “Lasting Supper” — but virtual realities are a sad comparison to F2F communities. And in my experience, being an atheist or a skeptic is no grounds for community either.

  5. Just come out sister, it ain’t worth it if there is not love. I testify like some others do that Yeshua is waiting for us in the desert. I finally stepped out of the church for good. God is love and I can gurantee you that God or the love that you need you will find not in the church but in your heart. It took me 19 years to finally understand that. My conversion happened outside the church in my room when I was 24 years old. It was the most powerful conversion you or anyone including myself could imagine, because it had nothing to do with theology and all to do with my heart. Then three years later I came to the church for the first time eve in my life, but I didn’t know what I was getting into. Leaving the church doesn’t mean that you live God. On the contrary you will experience liberation, and freedom and love because the church is full of hypocrites and it is not worth staying if that is the state of the church. Better walk alone with God than being surrounded by hypocrites and people who do not know God, because God is love, not religion and I consider myself extremely lucky that my conversion happened outside the church, so I have completed the full circle, now I am outside the church and I have more love and truth in my life, I am stronger and freer and closer to God than when I was in the church, because God is in my heart, not in the church…have not fear, sooner or later you will have to leave anyway. I know they can not take people like you because you confront their religiousity and their lack of love. I can testify Yeshua is in the desert and with Him you will never be alone. Be free. My story is different from yours, I have not an issue with sexuality, but I know that there is something very wrong with the church and there are so many things in it that contradict the words of Yeshua. They are still stuck in the Old Testament and though they claim to know Yeshua, they haven’t met Him yet, not everyone, but the ones who judge and can not accept another human being for what he or she really are. That is their problem, not yours. I love you. I wish you all the best. Miguel

  6. It really is heart breaking that church leaders and their congregations are impoverishing themselves, by loosing the voices of so many. When I was banned from my previous church, I was told that banning me was protecting the church, in the same way children’s ministries need to be protected from pedophiles.

  7. The god of my understanding, is more concerned about living together amongst our differences, for the sake of preserving unity, cultivating dignity, and striving for justice.

  8. My parents tried to raise me as a catholic, but when I started seeing all the hypocritical actions in the church I stopped believing in that institution. Years later I “mended” my relationship with God. This time, at my own terms. I have to say I have no intention to go back to a church or temple, but people like Vicky are the only ones who can really make a change for all of us LGBT+ people. She’s really brave 🙂

  9. Regarding this topic, I think this article at Votive Praise totally nails it:

    “The more I think about it, the more I believe that we have changed the way we accept scripture. Instead of studying it to understand what it teaches, we’d rather feel/believe something first and then look for verses to convince ourselves that that’s what the Bible really says. Our fancy is more in what Scripture means to us than in what it actually means.”

    If someone says “your are wrong” to a gay, then he/she is a bigot. Whereas the gay christian is free to go public with any view on traditional Christians and be called ‘brave’.

    Sorry, but it’s become an unfair fight in favor of LGBTs.

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