Is unconditional love really unconditional?

"Un Conditional Love" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

“Un Conditional Love” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

Do you need a community that tries to practice unconditional love? We aren’t perfect, but we’re awesome. Join The Lasting Supper. I personally invite and will welcome you, along with my tribe of incredible people! JOIN NOW!

Of course this cartoon makes no sense because 3% of unconditional love is no longer unconditional love.

When Jesus said “Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees”, what he was warning people about was something, a thing, no matter how little, that would affect the whole thing. Like a small amount of yeast will raise the entire loaf of bread, so a small amount of something the Pharisees had to offer would affect the entire thing they touched.

This is the law. This is conditions.

Grace with a little bit of law is no longer grace. Love with a little bit of conditions is no longer love.

Period. It’s something else. Entirely.

It doesn’t change anything to drink 33 cartons of this 3% un conditional love. It’s still just 3%.

Don’t you want 100% whole?

I know a lot of you have settled because you can’t find anything better. But there is! We can make such communities! We can start with ourselves! I have.

This is why I have my online community. I would like to see this in action. And I am! Join me.

Read my books. View my art. They are about unconditional love too. 100%


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18 Responses

  1. -in before the comments that say that God’s law IS love, even though that law was more about ritual cleanliness and suggesting that women regularly have sex with their husbands and that men could treat women as property-

    -and a theological debate over what grace entails-

    -and that abusive tongue and fist is part of love-

  2. Sabio Lantz says:

    “Unconditional Love” is so trite. Every vocal Christian wants to spout it. It is jargon to me.

    I am all for “Generous Love” — but they can keep your “unconditional” rhetoric, skim, 2% or more.

  3. JT says:

    When it’s not 100% unconditional love, you became a 100% hole! Believe me I know. Been there, done that.

  4. Alvin Góngora says:

    Love is unconditional, relationships are not.

  5. Sabio Lantz says:

    Relationships are the real thing. Talk about idealized love is for pastors, singers and sociopaths.

    Idealizations are perfect for manipulative rhetoric. Realistics, sober, earthy, dirty stuff is for the rest of us.

  6. kris799 says:

    Ok that made me laugh LOL!

  7. John L says:

    “Love with a little bit of conditions is no longer love.”

    It’s the paradox of love. Sabio alludes to it, but seems jaded. Nobody fully gets it. We can’t. We all fall short of true and unconditional love. That’s the Jesus story: perfect love, and humanity’s response to its light. We know — conceptually, hopefully, faithfully, and somewhat experientially — that the greatest idea IS unconditional love. Buddhist monk TN Hahn says “love your enemies” is the greatest phrase ever uttered, the ultimate koan. But we know that loving one’s enemies is impossible, because if you perceive someone as an enemy, you can’t love them. And yet, we know this to be our purpose in life: to know love; to grow in love; to become more loving. To ultimately drown our endless transient hopes and identities into the grand universal river that is called Love. Isn’t this the real meaning of faith? … the hope that there is a perfect love in the universe, and that we are created in the image of that love?

    I believe that we ARE created in the image of unconditional love, but what Jesus calls αμαρτία (dualism, separation, living outside the garden) blinds us from living fully into this reality. My soul bet is on the ultimate and universal reality of unconditional love. Love is the bridge that unifies creation and dispels the sense of other, or dualism, or “enemy”. Love is Jesus standing at the garden gate, welcoming us back (but we fear the garden, for it means that all of our cherished identities — religious, cultural, intellectual, tribal — will be annihilated). If we are in some way blind to love as ultimate reality, it is a result of αμαρτία. A mystery. And the only way to overcome αμαρτία is through love, loving more, loving deeper, and dreaming of love itself no differently than we dream of our most cherished ideas, possessions, and relationships. Until one day, the dreamer and the dream become inseparable.

  8. Sabio Lantz says:

    I don’t know why I am so allergic to that sort of rhetoric, but damn, I just can’t sneezing.

  9. John L says:

    Sabio, I took my best shot. So, tell me, what is love?

  10. Sabio Lantz says:

    My unholy, banal, eat-shit-play definition:
    “love” is a word, created by people, to manipulate other people.
    It is used to cover a number of virtues, vices, deceptions and sacrifices.
    Most important is to understand that it is a word, not a thing.
    Sorry, I’d imagine you wanted much, much more.

  11. Love unifies and dispels the sense of other. Yes!

  12. Sabio Lantz says:

    I wish I had a nickle for every “Love is …” aphorism out there.
    I’ve seen Parent’s have to decide on a kind of love that kicks kids out of their dependency — no unifying there.
    For every aphorism, there is an exception or another agenda.

    But heck, when shouts “Love is….” it certainly makes them sound holy, spiritual and (well) loving. [Not to me, however — it is trite and generic — the fodder of pastors, priests and therapists]

  13. Even though I can hear what you’re saying Sabio, I’m sure there is love. Unconditional love too.

  14. Sabio Lantz says:

    “Even though I can hear what you’re saying…”
    does that mean:
    (a) and I disagree
    (b) and I sort of agree but there is more you are missing
    (c) I agree but here is the better way to phrase it

    Of course lots of people do things I would label as love, but it is just a label for things I like and want to happen. I’ve notice other use the same word in very different ways. How about you.

    Of course I do not believe in a pie-in-the-sky love, or some universal vibration called love or anything like that.

  15. John L says:

    ….”Love is a word, not a thing.”

    Spoken like Kant, who suggested that we can never know the “thing in itself” — we can only know a “representation” of the thing. Similar in ways to Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle. I have no problem with your definition, though I think it severely sidesteps the power of love to gather, heal, mature, and unify. Not in the religious-manipulative-tribal sense, but in a generic-universal sense.

    If love (or its manifest attributes — grace, peace, unity, charity, hope, forgiveness, care….) isn’t the greatest idea, what is?

  16. Sabio Lantz says:

    Oh I am definitely anything but a Plato fan — though I know that feeds much of Western thinking (Christian and otherwise) — the shadow of “the thing itself”. I do not think of any “think itself” but of all the normal stuff we do.

    Sure, I love my kids and friends and often complete strangers (hell, I do medicine), but I never idealize it, over estimate it or preach it as a word to others. I tend to be much more concrete. I ain’t a natural preacher.

    Remember, firmness, roughness, harshness can all heal too — ooooops, people call that “tough love” don’t they. See, anything can be “love” — so much so, the word becomes meaningless.

    So due to that, I’ve avoid the rhetoric. See David’s other post on the Emergent Church abuse — I am sure “love” rhetoric abounded there. Nauseatingly so.

    Drop rhetoric, get real. That is my advice — dare to be original and not generic.

  17. John L says:

    ….”Drop rhetoric, get real. That is my advice.”

    Reminds me of what Margery Williams wrote about “real love”

    “Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

    ‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

    ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

    ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

    ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

  18. Sabio Lantz says:

    Fun little story. I love fiction too.