I’m having a Sophia Art Show and Reading at St. Stephen’s University tonight. I hope to see some of you there.
Here’s the meditation from this drawing, “Bridge”. Do you relate?
This was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done.
Burning that bridge. Cutting it down. Separating myself as if permanently.
This didn’t necessarily mean forever. But I had to act as if it was. Like an axe!
Look at all those people on the other side. All those faces.
Those are the faces of people I know. People I’ve loved.
In their own ways, they cared for me.
But I couldn’t let them keep me any more.
I had to peel off the desperate fingers of all their expectations.
It was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done.
Their expectations offended me, so I cut them off.
And I did it swiftly.
Apparently it wasn’t enough to escape. I had to stay escaped. It is one thing to gain new ground, but it is another to keep it. I’d escaped to new ground. But to keep it I had to secure my liberation from all the noble hopes everyone else held for me. It was time to find, form and fulfill my own.
I’ve also heard it said that when we leave those we love, we may unconsciously create a crisis in order to justify our departure. Rather than directly betraying them, we develop a scene that makes our leaving inevitable and necessary.
When I escaped their grasp, I created that crisis.
When I cut down all the bridges between us, that sealed the deal.
I had to. I had slipped in and out before. This time I knew it had to be decisive. Final. I really had to leave as if for good. It was abrupt! I know this.
What will happen in the future? I don’t know. I don’t even want to speculate. Because I have to find myself first. Without a goal. Without a preconceived idea. I just need to know, experience, taste and integrate my freedom.
Bridges can be destroyed.
They can also be built.”