Just don’t become a feminist!

"Bad Enough" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
“Bad Enough” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

[Get this print!]

I didn’t raise my daughter to be a feminist. I raised my daughter to be who she is: tender, strong, confident, wise, determined to view and treat all equally, with a keen skill of smelling a rat a mile off, and no tolerance for BS.

She is a feminist.


12 Replies to “Just don’t become a feminist!”

  1. I fear though that within feminism there are to many who are against trans women for me to support it any longer. This is why I prefer the term egalitarian.

  2. The core issue with the character with the speech bubble is not about gender or feminism, it is with him making his child out to be bad because of their gender and trying to control their worldview to be like his is.

    There used to be a movement that regarded women being married as oppression to women in roles as a mother and wife. Gaining emancipation form this so – called “oppression” involved leaving the family and “having sex” with multiple partners in order to achieve “liberation” and freedom. It left husbands bewildered, families devastated and women lonely and weeping in later life.

    Discrimination against the other in any form is never OK. No real security can be found in any human or human movement. Breaking free of pressure to conform either from any dominant parent or demanding human movement in order to enter into a more fulfilling life takes courage and risks alienation.

  3. I raised my daughter the same way. Mine had an unfortunate event with a teacher at school this year, and since this was her last year, on the very last day of school she walked up to him and had the “final word.” I can’t even begin to describe how proud of her I am. I think this situation helped hone her rat and b.s. sniffing skills, which is probably one of the best skills she’ll ever have!

  4. I would best describe myself as a woman who is both a feminist yet not a feminist. In the early 60’s when my mom got married to my dad her favorite department store automatically canceled her credit card with them just because she was married even though she had been a loyal customer for over 10 years. And when she quit her job to give birth to me, the man who replaced her automatically got a higher salary to do the same job she did. Things like this make me a feminist because they are obviously wrong and needed (and in come cases still need) to be changed.

    But what makes me not a feminist is that in too many cases there is a blatant hatred of men. Bashing men doesn’t help women. It just makes them hostile and less likely to treat women with respect. Another aspect that makes me not a feminist is the frequent feminist hostility toward women who choose to stay at home with their children. Not every woman wants to climb the corporate ladder and become CEO of a Fortune 500 company. If a woman want to be an old-fashioned “housewife and mommy” that should be a choice made between herself and her spouse. It should be respected and honored as much as any woman who chooses to be a “career woman.” Whatever choice a woman makes is just fine with me.

  5. I’m a feminist and proud of it. I’m a latecomer to the club, but I bought the t shirt and I wear it with pride.

    What saddens me, and you expressed it really well Sue, is that people start to equate the name ‘feminist’ with the hateful behavior of factions. It’s the same as equating all Christians with abusive priests for example. Feminism was and is about fighting for equality, and I’m so glad women were out there picketing and making a nuisance of themselves a century ago, because I’m reaping the benefits now. My daughters and granddaughters need me to keep up the momentum because we’re not there yet!

    We shouldn’t get sidetracked by the ‘who’s the best mum’ debate. It’s a distraction, (and perhaps a deliberate one?), from where we should be focused. There are still way too few women in politics, the judiciary, the educational hierarchy, in power in business, in religions………….so there is still not a fair representation of who women are and what they need. I’m so tired of being told what’s good for me by men who’ve created systems that favor them and keep them in power!

    I was a stay at home mum, been married to the same lovely man for over 30 years. I know the hatred toward the word ‘feminist’ from both men and women. But stuff them! We’re not equal yet, and until we are, I’m going to raise the flag and ask other women to join me! Don’t let them turn us against ourselves!!!

    Hehehehe……. Got my blood pumping David. Very clever cartoon!

  6. This says it for me:
    “I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.”
    ~ Rebecca West

    Gender has its place and function – biology and ONLY biology. In every other context, it is entirely irrelevant. Anyone who says to me that men are better at this and women are better at that, so each should stick to their own sphere, is met with an avalanche of documented fact refuting that. I state, or send, the facts with perfect courtesy, but this is a mean thing to do anyway. I realize that, and it makes me smile. (Have I mentioned yet how evil I am?)

  7. Shazza – I hear what you say about feeling sad when people equate the word feminist with hateful behaviour with you being a proud feminist and likening that to equating all Christians with abusive priests.

    If by that, you re alluding to my comment then can I ask you why?

    It’s great there is a movement for equality for women with feminism. It’s great there is a movement for good news with evangelicalism. If culture doesn’t like right focused feminists seeking justice and compassionate evangelists seeking to do good works then culture is in trouble.

    However when either movement crosses a line then in the interest of equality surely the just thing to do is to not discriminate by ignoring one and opposing the other. Surely there is a responsibility within any movement to acknowledge and address the factions you talk of. They talk about love and equality but they hate the other are wounding and don’t care who gets caught in the crossfire.

    It’s great that David’s daughter is being raised (like any good father would) so she is nurtured into being tender, strong, confident, wise, and wanting to treat all equally. It’s great my atheist brother supported my niece in her recent baptism including a pledge to “renounce the works of the devil”. It was great when my atheist parents supported me at my baptism with tears in their eyes showing how much meaning it had for them.

    If all parents were like this (and not the character in the cartoon) we would all be in a much better place.

  8. Hi Ducatihero.

    No, I wasn’t alluding to anything you wrote. Just responding to the cartoon with my thoughts.


  9. I’m always a bit concerned when I see feminism reduced to a fight for equality . Feminism is about liberating women from injustice and oppression that is caused by patriarchy. Equality will be a result of that liberation, but it isn’t the primary goal.

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