Vicky Beeching and coming out means living out

"Coming Out Living Out" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

“Coming Out Living Out” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

[Like this cartoon? Get a print HERE for just $19!]
I read with fascination this article on Vicky Beeching published just yesterday in BuzzFeed News, This Is What It’s Like Being A Gay Christian Rock Star.

A mixture of joy, anger, and sadness stirred within me as I read it.

What’s she’s had to go through!

I started “coming out” as a questioning pastor pretty late in life. But I learned a very important life lesson:

It’s one thing to come out. It’s another thing to live out.

I do understand these are two totally different kinds of coming out. But there are similarities.

Once you come out, it’s not over! It’s just beginning. Yes, it takes incredible courage to reveal who you are. But this courage, once you come out, is just beginning to be employed because you’re committing yourself to a way of life… a life where you can now enjoy being who you are without living under constant edit, a life where you can receive encouragement and support to be who you are from good people, but also a life of constant ridicule, criticism, and even attack.

This is why I admire Vicky Beeching for what she did and what she’s doing. I encourage you to read the post because it reveals not only her personal fears leading up to her necessary coming out, but the personal resilience it takes for her to live out. Before she came out, it cost her dearly… emotionally, spiritually, mentally. After she came out, it costs her dearly… emotionally, spiritually, mentally, plus financially, socially, vocationally, and so on.

I personally know what it’s like, once I let myself show, to receive incredible love and support from people, but also to receive devastating hate and criticism from others.

It’s 24/7.

Stories like this are inspirations for everyone. Being who you are is not a one time deal. It’s a life choice.

I admire those who are doing it, support those who are trying, and encourage those who are still afraid of stepping into that kind of ring.

I understand.

Meet others who totally understand at The Lasting Supper!


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6 Responses

  1. Doug says:

    Wow. Just wow. This is one of the most moving “coming out” stories I’ve ever read. Kudos and blessings to Ms. Beeching for her bravery and for being so wonderfully articulate.

    . . . And thank you, David, for sharing this.

  2. Ducatihero says:

    As I read her story, I related to so much of it, the chronic fatigue, the attending cathedrals rather than other churches that I now avoid, and much else of what she writes about.

    However being straight, white and male would I get as much ku dos or would that be considered not an issue because of my position of privilege? I promise you, the suffering I have endured for being my authentic self rather than adhering to social programming is no less than what has been described with what she has experienced. I won’t go into nasty details as I don’t feel I would receive equal support due to my position of privilege.

    What I felt was a connection with her story. I love what was said about leaving the judgement to God and focusing on the loving. I like what you have mentioned about coming out too and the simple reality that sometimes life is a battle and it sucks whether coming out or not.

  3. Caryn LeMur says:

    Great points, David! We come out. We live out. We love. And we learn to simply laugh at all the craziness.

    And, if we wish, we walk with Jesus and help the wounded, rather than walk on the other side. No matter our doctrine or beliefs, if our own hands do not touch the wounded, then we do not please the Father.

    Doctrine is a distant second place in the journey with the Father of Truth.

    My congratulations to Vicky. May she learn to laugh and love all the more.

    Hugs! Caryn

  4. DoctorDJ says:

    A very moving piece. And the comments at the BuzzFeed site shows the extreme entrenchment and hatred of “christian love.”

    If the only purpose of your religion is to prop up your bigotry and prejudices, perhaps there’s something wrong with your religion.

  5. Kris799 says:

    There are so many ways people need to ‘come out’. Amazing story!

  6. Ya… isn’t there a saying, “DON’T READ THE COMMENTS!”?