first nakedpastor cartoon caption contest

"Jesus' Fortune" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward and Beth

“Jesus’ Fortune” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward and Beth

Let’s have fun! Give us a caption for this cartoon. The winner gets a fine art reproduction print of the completed cartoon, signed, sealed, and delivered to their door! A joint effort between the nakedpastor and the winner! Something you can hang up and brag about.

All you need to do is 2 things!

1. Leave a comment here on my blog with your caption. (ONE ENTRY ONLY!)
2. Sign up for my emails. (If you do, you also get a free e-book, “The Stages of Deconstruction”.)

That’s it!

The contest will close midnight tonight my time (AST). I’ll post the winner tomorrow with the completed cartoon.

SHOP

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75 Responses

  1. corbett means says:

    “It doesnt look good”

  2. Ray says:

    Cation Contest: ” I predict a profit” ……..

  3. Bernardo says:

    My name is Isaiah. Your session is finished. Cash, check or credit cards are acceptable. Pay on your way out. And please don’t knock over the table on your way out.

  4. karen says:

    Just go back now.

  5. David Waters says:

    You will be betrayed, die a horrific death and your followers will scatter and deny you. For another $25 I’ll tell you the remedy to this situation so you’ll be remembered and live forever!

  6. Erin green says:

    “You have a birthday coming up this year.”

  7. Chris Hill says:

    You have nothing to worry about, Jesus. Love wins, even if they forget about you.

  8. Biolansequalground says:

    “No. You can’t pay me extra to tell you when your parousia is…Your Father blocked my ball.”

  9. Adam Julians says:

    There’s a time coming for your glorification. You will be lifted high and say to another “today I will see you in paradise”, to others “it is finished”.

  10. Norm Englund​ says:

    You will teach your disciples how to cure hemorrhoids and constipation with a diet rich in figs. They will ridiculously misunderstand.

  11. Steve says:

    You’re screwed. They believe Trump is their Savior.

  12. Steve says:

    Oops. left out 1 word.

    You’re screwed. They’ll believe Trump is their Savior.

  13. Aaron Green says:

    “I see…7 horses, chaos, fire shooting down from the sky, a prostitute, and…wait… I think I see Donald Trump??…”

  14. Beth says:

    “This thing must be broken…let me see your palms.”

  15. What’s this I see? Preachers using your name to discriminate?!?

  16. “Be patient, Jesus! This crystal ball they sent me says my seed money will produce a harvest soon.”

  17. Gary says:

    I think this damn thing is broken. I see nothing beyond what I wish to see.

  18. Sharmini says:

    Are you by any chance in a very troubled relationship?

  19. D J Brown says:

    I see you are the Christ, the Son of the living God.
    That will be $30.00; will that be cash, credit card, cheque or pay-pal?

  20. Tom says:

    Sorry man, you went through all that for nothing! They don’t get it!

  21. Reminder: only one entry each!

  22. Douglas says:

    The world is a dark, dreary place, but I think you already know that.

  23. “You will be the most misunderstood person person who ever walked the earth, and people will make stuff up about you to make themselves look good.”

  24. Laura Beth says:

    “Crowns of thorns will be fashionable, but you won’t believe the crap they they try and make them from!”

  25. Gregorio Vazquez Solis says:

    “Your birthday will be replace by a fat guy who delivers gifts door by door… and your death by a bunny who makes chocolate eggs…”

  26. Greg says:

    Don’t trust Pontius Pilate!

  27. Ernie Marton says:

    I see your future misunderstood, misguided, abusive, exclusive sexist and boxed in. Oh, at no fault of yours.

  28. Reuben says:

    Abra ka dabra ” who will be in power in 2016 Republican or Democratic ” Jesus answers “its me” and my Love rules over USA

  29. Devin Bouchelle says:

    “Do you know an Adam? He says he’s sorry for all the trouble.”

  30. Devon says:

    “Oh no. That can’t be…. All of them? But what about Hitler?”

  31. Searainya Bond-Frojen says:

    “Uh-oh, White Jesus. Looks like Black Jesus is up in the polls.” #whatwouldblackjesusdo

  32. Tina says:

    “Ah! … Ooooh… Just be yourself, Jesus. Some people will get it.”

  33. Diane says:

    …and you died for them (?) (!) (.)

  34. Jessi says:

    “I see a lot of murderous zealots and bad acting in your name. And it’s too late to change your name, I’m sorry.”

  35. April says:

    “Oh yes, this would be a great time for you to make a career change and maybe even make some new friends!!”

  36. ttm says:

    “You seem like a bad news first sort of guy … “

  37. Mike says:

    Bad News, seems Money trumps you.

  38. José says:

    “Sorry Jesus, your future looks grim! Your down on the polls for 2016 and your Ekklesia shares just took another plunge.”

  39. Jen Zechlin says:

    “Um Jesus… have you considered Buddhism?”

  40. Carrow says:

    Someone with a smokin hot wife thinks you’re still a baby.

  41. Jeff says:

    This is not going to work if you continue to dismiss what I see because of what you already know.

  42. Anne Lawless says:

    Yep. You win!

    Yep. You win!

  43. Doug Black says:

    Hi, I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

  44. Jordan says:

    “I’ll save you the trouble…Change it to IT’S COMPLICATED.”

  45. Jim says:

    YOU’RE asking me?

  46. Katy says:

    And then they take your body and try to turn it into a building. Ha! like that would work!

  47. Dylan Worth says:

    “Oh my, turns out that Ted Cruz will be winning the Evangelical vote!”

  48. Helen says:

    Oh brother!

  49. Candace Chellew-Hodge says:

    Trump is still ahead of you in the polls.

  50. James says:

    No shit, that thing the killed you on will become a fashion statement for the people that like you… I know messed up isn’t it

  51. Wade says:

    “Damnit! I thought you said I get Fox news on this thing!”

  52. Nick Gypps says:

    Your friend Lazarus wants to call in a favor…

  53. David says:

    My ball is cloudy over the next few days, but that myrrh might finally come in handy soon…

  54. Ron Doerksen says:

    So… just how well do you know your bride?

  55. I see death in your future. Lots of it. First it’s your enemies and then it’s your followers.

  56. Jesse says:

    if you grow up to be famous, you owe me $100 cause i totally called it!

  57. Pat Green says:

    Reply hazy try again….

    Concentrate and ask again…

    Oh…

    Outlook not so good.

  58. Annette says:

    You will meet a tall, dark stranger with a sickle…and you will squash him like a bug.

  59. Jeff Robinson says:

    “…you will be blessed…people will insult you and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil things about you…and that’s just the ones who will claim to follow you…”

  60. Shazza tha dazzla says:

    “Your dad says this will hurt him more than it hurts you……”

  61. Michael Lonergan says:

    I see you hanging around for a bit.

  62. Andy Adam says:

    I’m sorry, they’re going to stuff it up. You’re going to have to go back again, and again, and again, …

  63. Ludmyla says:

    I know you’re used to big stars annoucing big things. 2015? Star Wars!

  64. SuperJediBro says:

    “I see great crowds cheering, a friends betrayal with doom impending, the serpent of old shall weep, the great spirit poured out like tongues of fire… What did you say your name was again?!”

  65. Erin Green says:

    “I’m picking up a message from the conservative church and they say…wait… I think they’re saying they don’t need you anymore. They’ll take it from here. “

  66. Erin Green says:

    “No. Shekels are not an acceptable form of payment.”

  67. Jonny Griffiths says:

    What happens to your church? It’s a fete worse than death…

  68. Noah Scott says:

    Lots of fish, I see lots of fish….oh, and a zombie!

  69. Hey Beth!!!

    Cool. Your caption is the funniest and best. I checked with family and friends and we all agree… you’re the winner!

    I need your mailing address so I can ship you a print of the cartoon!

    Thanks, and congratulations!

    And thanks to everyone who played. This wasn’t easy to decide the winner. There are a bunch of good ones. I can’t wait to play this again. Stay tuned!

  70. Beth says:

    Thank you so much! I have enjoyed perusing the blog. Appreciate the heads-up about the contest from Brad Jersak’s FB feed. Will look for the contact link to send address.

  71. haywardart at gmail dot com

  72. Wayne Taylor says:

    “It’s not all bad, i see that one day the church will let you back in”

  73. Kristin says:

    They’ll still be crucifying you two millennia from now

  74. drmrs says:

    I see NAILS and LUMBER in your future!

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