Jesus in Airport Security CAPTION THIS contest!

"Balls of Steel" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward & "Just"

“Balls of Steel” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward & “Just”

It’s time for another Caption This Contest!

Provide a caption for this cartoon. I’m sure many of you have been through this in airport security.

I’ve drawn it in such a way that either:

  1. Jesus says something, or
  2. the security officer says something, or
  3. no one says anything, just provide a caption describing the event.

The winner gets a fine art reproduction print of the completed cartoon, signed, sealed, and delivered to their door! A joint effort between the nakedpastor and the winner! I’ll sign it then you can sign it once you get it. Something you can hang up and brag about.

All you need to do is 2 things!

1. Leave a comment here on my blog with your caption. (ONE ENTRY ONLY PLEASE!)
2. Sign up for my emails. (If you do, you also get a free e-book, “The Stages of Deconstruction”.)

That’s it!

I’ll post the winner tomorrow morning here with the completed cartoon with the new caption.

Do I bring joy into your life? Then please help support my work. Become a patron!



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65 Responses

  1. Dan Russell says:

    How long did you say you spent in Palestine? Cause you sure sound Mexican to me, Mr Jesus.

  2. Kenton says:

    “Wow! Something is really setting off my machine right here!”

  3. David Waters says:

    Yeah? Funny that’s exactly what all the middle eastern lookin’, desert garb wearin, underwear bombers say!

  4. Erin Green says:

    Sir, I’m going to need you to remove your keys, all your shekels, and the 5 Syrian refugees you’re smuggling under your robe please

  5. Only one comment please. Them’s the rules. 🙂

  6. Jeremy Spiers says:

    Middle Eastern, funny headgear, and wearing a dress? Sir, could you step this way?

  7. Terry Heaton says:

    Hey, Sarge, I’m detecting a lot of mettle here.

  8. David Gibbs says:

    Sir, I’ll ask you one last time – do you have any piercings?

  9. Searainya Bond-Frojen says:

    Looks like there’s a problem with the crown jewels.

  10. Jordan says:

    Sorry sir. We have to scan for ideas that could be twisted into institutions.

  11. Phil Steer says:

    Where’s your security?

  12. Billy says:

    “Yep, he’s circumcised….”

  13. Judi says:

    Father forgive th m for they know not what you they do

  14. Jeff Cole says:

    “Yeah Dad , with TSA as we speak….next time can we book ascension ? “

  15. Mark Meynell says:

    Have you *nothing* to declare?

  16. Adam Julians says:

    Entry through narrow gate – check
    It was threading a camel through the eye of a needle, not… Jeesh

  17. Paco LM says:

    “That’s not what I meant when I said I came to bring a sword ma’am”.

  18. Sara says:

    Muslims… They’re all the same. ..

  19. “Not that it matters at this point, but the sword I’m coming back with is figurative, not literal.”

  20. Dan says:

    “Check him good Susan, he looks Arab!”

  21. Eva says:

    “I’m not carrying any weapons. I think you’ve got me confused with Republican Jesus.”

  22. purvez says:

    No spirits allowed. Holy or otherwise.

  23. Dominic says:

    “Here’s another one. Clear him.” – Security guard

  24. “In Him there is no sin. What’s in his carry-on?”

  25. Nerys Johnson says:

    (Security Officer) ‘Darn, I still haven’t found out how he did this ascension thing…’

  26. Ellen Haroutunian says:

    Sorry sir, President Trump says you’re a threat to our national security.

  27. Brigitte says:

    He said his name is God. Can’t be true, we’ve got Donald Trump (or Justin Trudeau, in Canada).

  28. Marci Glass says:

    I’m pretty sure the danger of the Gospel won’t show up on x-ray.

  29. yancy johnson says:

    I love you this much.

  30. Mike says:

    “But I have declared Everything”.

  31. Keith Giles says:

    Is this how you treat all middle eastern men?

  32. Gary says:

    But I have no baggage. Why are you people always looking for baggage?

  33. Preety says:

    Are you visiting here for business or for pleasure?

  34. Steve Gifford says:

    You can’t get on the plane with that crown of thorns. It’s too sharp.

  35. Daniel says:

    Chuck, call Athanasius. Scanner confirms he’s all God AND all man.

  36. Cloud says:

    “Sir, we’re going to have to strip you of your garments now.”

  37. Gillian Scott says:

    Ethereal vibrations only.

  38. David Blakely says:

    This is SOP through April only

  39. Alison Morais says:

    Dont life up my robe, I forgot t my clean undies, my Mother will kill me

  40. Anthony Varrone says:

    Ok then, sir, beside your hands and feet, are you carrying any metal on your Person?

  41. Nick Gypps says:

    Everywhere I go I end up with outstretched arms.

  42. David says:

    No, you need to look in the hands and feet, but in this get-up I suppose I would be stigmatised…

  43. catriches says:


  44. Autumn says:

    Jesus: I swear I am all man.
    Security: That’s what they all say.

  45. ttm says:

    “Before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice.”

  46. Ben H. says:

    “You should’ve seen the last time my arms were like this….Talk about violation.”
    “TMI, sir.”

  47. Douglas says:

    Should should translated myself. It would have been the speed of thought.

  48. K.W. Leslie says:

    After his experience with TSA, Jesus decided the next time he goes “across the pond,” he’s gonna walk.

  49. Overcomer says:

    Sorry Sir, but you are going to have to step over here……

  50. David Horton says:

    “Welcome to incarnation.”

  51. Stacy Schaffer says:

    “I swear to God- What do you *not* understand about no metal objects?”

  52. Just says:

    Balls of Steel

  53. Suneel Damerakula says:

    Comment 1. It seems that you are as same as we are, not anything extraordinary as thought off.
    Comment 2. Jesus, let me check that, you are a Son of God or you are a Son of Man.

  54. Andy Rayner says:

    “ARMED and Dangerous”… or
    Dangerous Arms

  55. Jake says:

    Jesus Christ: Pissing of authority and disrupting security for over 2000 years

  56. Claude Rochon says:

    Caption: The terrorists have won

  57. Kirk Moore says:

    Heaven’s new security measures

  58. Anna says:

    No baggage

  59. Sixtus says:

    You want me to stick WHAT through the eye of that needle?!

  60. Well… this was also a tough one to decide. But the one that made me laugh, most unexpectedly, was “Balls of Steel”. There were other good ones, but this one wins.

    Thanks “Just” for your contribution. Please email me haywardart at gmail dot com with your mailing address so I can send you a print of the completed cartoon.

    I have another one ready for next week.

    And thanks for signing up for my newsletter. I will send you downloads and deals as well.

  61. Autumn says:

    Love it!!!!!!!!! Perfect caption

  62. Made me chuckle. And I like the double entendre.

  63. chaddo says:

    i’m a terrorist of Love

  64. Ken Howard says:

    And yes, I know it’s late… Still…