I woke up sad. I had a disturbing dream. Like a tyrant, it overlorded my day.
But it wasn't just the dream, but what it symbolized. I realized as I meditated upon the dream that it symbolized I didn't have much time left. I'm not talking about my life, because I have no idea. I'm talking about my present state of unemployment.
My severance runs out the end of this month. I still haven't found a way to make my living. Wherever you are, your July ends about the same time mine does. And it's not that far away.
All through my ministry I had the very strong sense that I was to be totally dependent upon the Lord for provision. And I did. I experienced rescue after rescue. I have stories. They are stories with the feel of the miraculous. Although I struggled, waiting daily for the manna to appear, it was without effort. I'm not saying I wasn't paid. I was. Just underpaid. I agreed to it.
But that period is over. Not to judge that season as bad. It was right for the time. No longer. It is time for me to apply myself, to exert effort, and to work hard, and watch the provision come through, as the Psalms say, the Blessing of the work of my hands. It is as though I've had to rely on the miraculous for my journey through a long wilderness. Now that I am in the Land, I must toil and establish it. It's a hard transition for me to make. That's my take.
I'm an artist. I paint. I do sculptures. I do cartoons (I'm assembling a book of my cartoons), I write. I can do counseling or coaching. I can teach. And I think all of these gifts, talents, or skills are going to be employed. I'm just not sure how they are going to make me enough money to live on yet. I don't just have skills. I have bills.
So, if you will excuse me, I've got to get to work :)
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