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alone and peaceful
Over the last two years I've experienced more loneliness than I ever have. Most times though they are fruitful. I will paint or go for a walk or listen to music or watch a movie or read an engaging book.
Actually, this painting, "Hat", was inspired by such a time. I can be so lost in my own head that I could lose my hat and not even notice.
This is one of my issues: learning to be present, to be aware, to stop living inside my own head and get in touch with what is going on around me or what is happening to me. I have a way of psychologically and emotionally buffering myself against the harshness of an experience. My counselor is helping me to work on that. It is an extremely arduous task.
I need to be gracious with myself. Things are getting better. I am getting better. My wife and children even notice. Even though I've been through some very difficult transitions lately, I can testify that things are actually improving. The bitterness, resentment and anger are all dissipating. I am awakening. I am slowly coming back to life. And the life I live now is much more happy, peaceful and intelligent than it has ever been.
1 comment
I’m sat in my car at 7am in the morning, having left a toxic situation last night and decided to be away from home. I remembered your print “perfectly alone, perfectly fine” and reminded myself that I am okay. I want people in my life but I don’t need them to survive. Over the years my counsellor has helped me develop my own internal foundation that is my security and safety. My parents were unable to offer me the attachment a child needs and I grew up desperately searching for that in others. Now I accept that I will never find what I didn’t have but I can find something that takes me through my future. When I think about your “alone” prints I feel stronger. I remember that my future is about my choices, not the consequence of other peoples behaviour. As a counsellor myself, I see so many clients frightened of what it means to be alone, so dependant upon the conditions of worth imposed upon them by others. I’m just setting up a new counselling location and know that some of your prints will be good opportunities to offer encouragement to my clients that they are okay, they can make it, their life can be what they want it to be. As ever David, I thank you for your courage and tenacity. Thank you for being prepared to be yourself and offer that blueprint to others. I’m sad about the situation that happened for me last night but, I don’t feel scared by it. That’s something new for me. It is in part inspired by what I hear and see when I take in what your art says and what your own journey speaks of. Thank you, once again, for your willingness to share your experiences with us all, have a good day, Alex