Do Not Disturb I'm Deconstructing
A woman lies on a beach drinking and smoking with a sign that says "Do Not Disturb! I'm Deconstructing FFS!”
It’s one thing to deconstruct your beliefs.
It’s another to do it in front of others.
Advice? Be like this woman.
If you’re deconstructing, do it your way. It’s your journey. It’s your life.
When we deconstruct, we also deconstruct from a church, community, group, family, friends, and a religion that continually obsessed about our spiritual lives.
I grew up in a religious culture that:
thought my personal life was their business;
assumed authority over me to tell me how to live;
monitored me to ensure I believed and behaved exactly how they thought I should;
expected me to share everything that was going on inside my head.
This is what cults do.
This is what a religion does when it colonizes.
This is what leaders do when they disrespect boundaries.
This is what we do when we surrender our autonomy and agency.
So, ignore the instilled urge to confess everything to people who expect that you should.
It’s none of their business.
When you leave the toxic beliefs, so must you leave the toxic people that created them, support them, and expect you to respect them.
Your spiritual life is your business unless you submit yourself to a spiritual director, pastor, priest, small group, etc., and even then this is volitional.
You have the right to erect boundaries around your personal life that no authority figure has any right to invade.
You communicate to nosey people where those boundaries are and not feel bad about it.
Somewhere, your “Do Not Disturb” must be legible to them.