I'm discovering that I haven't had a very healthy image of myself. I'm realizing that I grew up nurturing and being nurtured in a very negative self-view as well as of all humanity together.
I fell in love with Reformed Theology in my seminary days. I passionately studied John Calvin, Luther and all the others that followed in their wake. I still have a deep appreciation for Calvin and all that theology. My library is full of books in that vein. I felt it came to me as a gift.
But I'm just starting to see that we actually choose our theology. Our theology rarely chooses us. I am convinced that we always choose ideas that support what we already believe. We find proofs to buttress our worldview.
Like this tree struck by lightning, forever damaging its life, I can now see that much of what I have believed has only deepened my own pre-existent self-deprecation. There's all kinds of theology out there that will reinforce our self-hatred and keep us down.
I've also discovered that we have no idea how dangerous this is to our health and wellbeing. Theology that supports a low view of humanity is a self-fulfilling prophesy.¬†It actually creates the milieu for the complete defeat, destruction and death of the human spirit. Which is what it desires.
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