Something I've suspected for quite a long time is that my style of ministry isn't conducive to church growth or success. At least that's been my experience. Even though I feel a deep conviction that I am to pastor the way I do, it hasn't amounted to much. My church hasn't grown. It has no more money. We don't have any amazing stories to tell. At least nothing that would make headlines in all the major Christian testimonials. In fact, my style has caused my church to split, caused me to be dismissed from another ministry, and seen people come only to eventually go over the years. There is a solid group of people here who understand this and support it. Plus, evidently from my blog, there are some of you out there who get it. I don't know what I can do about it without compromising what I know to be true. Not many people understand me. Not many people understand my style of ministry. I can't explain it, although I try. That's what this blog is for... to explain the inexplicable to you, my confused reader. I don't lead. I don't have a vision. My teaching is offensive and disappointing. I get that all the time. I've gotten that for years. There's so much muscle-flexing in the church today. I do this I do that! Look how accomplished I am! Look how big I am! Look how wealthy I've become! Look how influential I am! Look how I'm changing the world! Look how effective I am! But I'm unwilling to flex muscle except when it comes to the protection of my flock, my people. And what I feel we most need protection from is the hard muscle of the present-day church. Not the world! I choose to be weak as a shepherd. Our people, for the most part I believe, choose to be weak as a church. I reject muscular attainments that we religious people aspire to and the church craves. I wait for a better life. New life. Genuine, authentic and true life. I thirst for living water, not pumped and processed water. I can't explain it, but I'll keep trying. This is the cross to me. Thanks for your patience. The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Jorgen Klausen. This is NOT me after a workout.