Gossip and NDAs

gossip and ndas cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

Description: Google translate. Christianese: “You shall not gossip about us leaders.” English: “This is equivalent to you signing an NDA so that we can do what we want and not face allegations.”


Gossip is to talk about others without them present about things not confirmed to be true or are none of your business.

How many times were you warned by leadership to not gossip? 
Especially about the leadership?

Were you spiritually abused but afraid to tell your story because it would be labeled gossip and your claim would therefore be dismissed?

“You should not gossip” is an effective way to silence disagreement, dissent, and the dissemination of the truth. It’s often a tool used by those in power to protect themselves.

If you’re never allowed to talk about someone when they’re not there, 
then you’re never allowed to tell your story of abuse any time anywhere.

You could challenge the abusive leader. 
But who wants to do that? 
Who has any hope for a positive outcome?
I did that twice. Got fired twice.

Anne Lammot said, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

It’s YOUR story! The abuser is not the main character. You are. They barged into your life as a non-supporting actor. It’s their fault they played this role in your story. Not yours.

If they claim you’re a gossip, ask them, “Is this story true?” 
If they say no, then ask for an opportunity to share your story. 
If they say yes, then say it’s not gossip, you’re just sharing your story.

Don’t let them silence your story forever.

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