I drew this cartoon in 2009 and is still making the rounds.
Ya, ya, I know... not all churches.
My experience though is that it's okay to ask certain prescribed questions within the bounds of propriety, but once you go beyond that line your membership is in danger.
I was a minister in the Reformed tradition for a while. The catechism, which I appreciate, was the model of how to be a member: you were given the questions to ask and they had the answers to dictate back. Everything was ordered.
Even though many like to think we should grow beyond that model, many actually don't.