"Get Away With Abuse" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
Of course, the best way to not get caught abusing someone is to not do it in the first place.
But, if you do abuse someone, it is important to have a few things in place: fame, finances, and friends. If you have none or only a little of these, you're doomed. However, if you have a suitable amount of reputation, money, and connections, then you will do well.
So, this helpful post is preventative in nature, not remedial. If you abuse someone before you have these useful tools to employ, it's already too late. You need to have these prepared and at the ready for when your abusive behavior comes to light. Smart people know this.
The news is flooded with examples. For instance...
If you abused your wife, you can use your platform to tell your side of the story and drown hers out, spend your money to tie her up in endless litigation, and call on your friends to say things like, "It was just a messy divorce and you should mind your own business."
Or, if you sexually molested young girls, you can use your fame to your advantage because we all know famous people get away with more than nobodies. You can also hire expensive lawyers as well as spin-doctors and news releases. Also, you can get other famous people to say things like, "Hey, we all make mistakes. Nobody's perfect!"
Perhaps you prefer boys, in which case you can use the resources of your organization to protect yourself by intimidating your accusers with its enormous and unbridled power and fame. You can also dip into its bottomless purse to promote another version of the story and tie things up in court. Finally, you can get other famous people to say things like, "We didn't realize that sexual abuse of a child... constituted a crime." Simple.
Also, if you are a bully towards the people who gather around you and they finally require you take a sabbatical and get professional help, just quit! Then, you can use your reputation that is still untainted in the eyes of other famous people to start a whole new thing. Use your money to launch a new career! Call on your friends to give you opportunities to do your thing. You'll be back in no time.
See? Easy as that. So, if you want to get away with abuse in the future, you need to start building these three things now! Begin making a platform for yourself and increase your reputation. Make a lot of money. Build a network of connections, especially with other important people. I promise that if you get in trouble, these three things will all rally around you and help you survive the accusations and quickly get you on your merry way and back on your trajectory towards success.
