Is it Okay to Admit We Suffer?
"Front View Side View" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
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i wouldn't dream of letting you know so I live locked inside my own nightmare of willful ignorance since denial is my native land because if I admitted I had sin in my life I would never be allowed to be a part of the victoriously triumphant community and that would kill me so i have no sin and i have no suffering that would be an admission of a lack of faith since faith overcomes mountains and even though i do have mountains in my life i am told to believe that either they're not real or that my faith can move them no problem but you and i both know that this isn't real and this isn't honest and this isn't as easy as it sounds therefore my life is one huge play a gigantic make believe and a long life of pretending and it gets exhausting the acting becomes the greater part of my suffering what i really long for is for someone to just hear me and care and understand and then i think i could find the courage to live through my suffering with dignity and even joy but i'm not allowed to because sin and suffering are not permitted to have any place in my life so i live like a mute animal terrified of everything that no one knows but me and now i've lost my humanity because i really do think that to suffer is to be human and to be loved in our suffering is to be profoundly human instead i appear superficial when in fact the currents of my struggle run deeper than i'll ever allow anyone to know including myself
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