My problem is I can't seem to articulate clearly what I sense. It is something very, very simple. And not even that. It is thin, narrow, slender like a thread. It isn't a vision or a goal because it just is. It is what is, so how can it be a vision or a goal because it already is!? It is so simple that it offends the mind. When you walk it it is so razor's edge that is causes your heart to fear, wonder, doubt. It wants to turn back. The danger is the words I use to describe it actually can pollute what I'm trying to describe. I feel like I'm trying to weed the garden of all that is useless to express this tender shoot, and my words are like more weeds because they are inadequate and crowding. But when you find this place, or when you discover that you are already in this place, devoid of all that is peripheral, it is full of love and benediction.This is my attempt to explain my attempt to explain what is truly religious, what is truly community, what is truly God. The more I rationalize, the more I write, the more I speak, the more cluttered this place becomes. Like friends of mine and I were saying this morning: all this debate and argument is useless. It is nothing but noise that transforms no one. Before him let all the earth keep silence. I think the more words there are, the more it indicates that we aren't before that which we call God. I've made another online friend who is as controversial a sojourner as I. He is an extraordinary artist, so don't say I didn't warn you when you visit his site. This fine art photograph is his creation. His name is Howard Nowlan.
Here is something I wrote in my journal Sunday afternoon, August 5, verbatim. It explains some of the paradoxical anguish I experience trying to write on nakedpastor: