reactions to your coming out

You must expect, when you finally decide to show your true colors, to come out (not just sexually), to reveal who you really are, the following reactions from the herd you are exposing yourself among: Revulsion: Actually a better word may be fear. When we are confronted by something we don't understand, usually our first reaction is fear. What is strange to us we are afraid of because we have no idea how to control it, manage it or manipulate it. It is threatening to us. Some of the people who loved you will actually be afraid of you. Rage: I was surprised by the amount of rage some people expressed at me for my change. I changed how I thought, how I behaved and ultimately how I belonged. Rage or anger is an emotion that emerges when we realize we have no control over the other person. It is often our way of trying to intimidate the other person into thinking or behaving or being what we want. Ridicule: Expect to be anything from teased to outright derided. Again, ridicule is an attempt to shame another person into conformity. The hope is that if the person is embarrassed enough, perhaps they will return to their senses as well as to their former selves and hopefully to the community. Also, ridicule is a way of socially separating a different person from the normative crowd in a self-protective measure. Rejection: Finally, expect to be rejected altogether. I've experienced this in abundance. I'm used to it experientially but not emotionally. Even if it is expected, it is painful every time. I always tried to change while in the context of my beloved fellowships, but consistently my experience and observation is that the fellowships are unable to accommodate decisions for yourself. Again, even though these are austere warnings, I want to remind you of my post yesterday that even though the departure is difficult, the arrival is amazing. If you are going through such a transition in your life, I provide transition support. If you want to talk, email me.  My BOOKS. My ART.
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