Some Pre-Departure Thoughts
Here are some thoughts that are going through my mind as I get ready to leave for Haiti early tomorrow morning:
- I am going to miss my family. I realize I'm only gone for a couple of weeks. But we are very close. Lisa and I are very much in love. It will be a difficult time to be separated.
- I am nervous. I always go into these trips a little anxious. I never know what's going to happen. I'm not afraid of flying or anything like that. It's just that I have this sense that I have more work to do and don't want to say goodbye to it yet.
- I will be heartbroken. I'm going to come across some devastation and grief. I'm going to witness the ramifications of injustice, poverty and trauma. I am going to meet orphans. That alone will kill me.
- I am going to get angry. I just finished a book everyone should read, War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning, by Chris Hedges. It brutally describes the senselessness of violence, injustice and war, and how choosing love is the only antidote to choosing death.
- I will fall in love. I'm going to meet some wonderful and humble people. I'm a sucker for those who struggle and don't or can't hide it. I will fall in love with people remarkably free of much of our baggage.
- I will see the depravity of my own life. This usually happens to people who come from more affluent societies. My complaints will fade in comparison to theirs, and my self-centeredness will become painfully obvious to me.
- I will meet some amazing people. The underlying unity of the human race will impress itself upon me, and I will be driven deeper into my love for the world-wide community.
- I will be changed. I feel like I'm going into surgery. It is not elective, but urgent. I have this gut-wrenching sense that something remarkable is going to happen to me that will transform me forever.
- I will receive more than I give. Isn't this always the case? I don't feel at all like I am coming with something to offer. Hopefully the team and I will be able to raise some money for the impoverished Haitian churches. But I am expecting to receive much more than I give.
- I will start the next chapter of my life. I have this sense that I am going through a door. Hopefully not to the afterlife. I still feel like I have some work to do. But we never know our time. I do have a strong inkling that the next chapter of my life will be opened to me while I am there.