Join our Newsletter
If you like The NakedJournal, you'll enjoy my weekly newsletter about deconstruction, freedom, and life in general.
Sophia is me wrestling
I want to apologize, but not really, for posting this Sophia image again, "Entangled". Of all the Sophias, this one is the most emotional for me because it captures the messy struggle I'm presently engaged in.
I was recalling the Jacob story when he was wrestling with the angel. All the ingredients are there in that story to metaphorically illustrate my journey.
- It is in the darkness. Things have been very, very dark, grim and even spooky. The light at times has been non-existent.
- I am alone. There is no one here to help me. I have a wonderful wife and a few good friends, but no one can really comprehend the depths of the journey we take sometimes. It is beyond them because it is beyond you.
- A wrestling match ensues. The past few years has been some of the worst warfare I've ever experienced. I've gone through some pretty nasty things like a devastating church split, being fired from an international and very public ministry, personal bankruptcy but nothing compares to the severe battle I have been waging. And I can't tell if it is evil or good. but it is certainly angelic in scale.
- I want a blessing. I don't want all this to just be a waste. I don't want to simply survive this ordeal. I will not let this go until I receive a blessing from it. I want to emerge from this conflict a better man, good and wise.