Spiritual Abuse: Never Say Not All Churches

Spiritual Abuse: Never Say Not All Churches

not all churches cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

Description: A woman says to a man, “Look! When I tell you my story of spiritual abuse and you say ‘not all churches’ or ‘not all pastors’ it shows you care more about them than you do the people they hurt!”


I was an official in a system called the Church that is guilty of systemic evil in the form of spiritual abuse.

I have also suffered a lot of spiritual abuse. 

I have also helped a lot of people heal from it.

I also keep abreast of the limitless stories surfacing about it.

It should be obvious to everyone with a heart that it is rampant in the Church.

So I know what I’m talking about when I talk about it.

And I’m still alarmed when people respond to our stories with “Not all churches!” or “Not all pastors!” or “You paint with broad strokes!”

It’s completely ignorant and careless to respond to suffering in this way.

“I don’t want to get married again. My ex physically abused me. I had to flee and find protection in a shelter.” 
“Well, not all husbands are abusive!”

“I don’t trust men. I was raped twice.” 
“Well, not all men are rapists!”

“I’ll never go to Church again. I went to five different ones and each one abused me.”
“Well, not all Churches are like that. That’s rare!”

Empathize with those who suffer without trying to shove your defensiveness about husbands or men or the Church down their throats.

The problem is that perpetrators rely on people like that to defend their abuse. Churches and misogynists and rapists and abusers expect to be protected because the Church, the Patriarchy, and Rape Culture are institutions that have always enjoyed privilege. 


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