Join our Newsletter
If you like The NakedJournal, you'll enjoy my weekly newsletter about deconstruction, freedom, and life in general.
The Gracious God is the Last One to Go
"Thoughts About God" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
The deconstruction of our beliefs and the loss of our faith as we know it is a scary process.
There's not only the fear of displeasing God, punishment, and Hell. There's also the fear of losing God himself. For many going through this traumatic transition, they take it gradually. They go from a disciplinarian God to a strict but kind father-like God to finally a gracious and compassionate God. Then, when they begin to realize that even this gracious God is a mental construct, a kind of ideological idol, they feel the pain of having to let this God go too. This God is so gracious that he lets us go. This gracious God is the perfect fulfillment of the saying, “If you love something, let it go. If it was yours it will return to you.” So this gracious God lets us go. That's what grace does. That's what love does. In a strange but necessary spiritual movement, our imagination sets us free from itself to experience reality itself. Then comes the real work of coming to grips with this new reality. Now we know that the idea is not the thing. The word is not the thing. What is beyond the idea? What is beyond the word? We painfully realize that we can never know until we drop the word and the idea. We can never venture into the dark space of what actually is without leaving the land of belief. Which is why most people don't dare! We may cling to our idea of a gracious God until the day we die. We are free to do that. Everyone is free to land and stay where they choose. I'm convinced, though, that there must be something beyond the thoughts and the beliefs attached to them, no matter how wonderful and grand they are. Is there something beyond the conceptual? Yes, this is terrifying. But yes, this is necessary. If ever we are to know what is. Are you here right now? I know how scary and difficult it is. I coach people through this process. Talk with me. If you're wondering, "What does David believe?", download my Z-Theory.