Tony Jones and There are Two Marriages

Actually, I agree with Jones in places. But I don't think marriage is a holy, sacred thing any more than anything else is.

I believe we live in a sacramental world.

So, for me, marriage is a human, social agreement, contract and event recognizing a committed relationship. I think it should be only legal. The church of those getting married can be present to bless it or not.

I think this is an elegant solution that would solve a lot of problems.

There aren't two marriages. There's only one! There's only one relationship. How different institutions or entities consider it is another issue.

tony jones two marriage cartoon nakedpastor david hayward

(Click on the image for a digital download, or click HERE!)

But these various considerations don't divide a relationship. The relationship is still one. There's one marriage, many opinions.

My concern about this document is what it opens the door for. As I wrote in my blog post Tony Jones on Mark Driscoll: What Came First, the Thug or the Theology that started this whole thing,

"Theology is our creation. It is a reflection of our drives and desires. Then, not satisfied to only be the product of our drives and desires, it also becomes the producer of them. Theology is a vicious cycle of our desperate need to understand and control our universe."

It's not so much about our theology as it is our pathology.

We may create theologies that bring out the best in us. Or, sadly, we may create theologies that not only validate but encourage the worst in us.

We can form theologies that may encourage inappropriate emotional attachments to another person. We can even create theologies that endorse affairs and adulteries.

It is only human to theologize our way into exactly what we desire. Like Jones makes clear in his marriage manifesto: it's so much easier to get into a sacramental marriage than to get out of a legal one.

So let's create "sacramental marriage". Problem solved!

Here's an analogous parallel: Do we really believe the prosperity gospel created rich pastors? Or did rich pastors create the prosperity gospel?

I'm not judging people because they have money or affairs.

What I'm analyzing is how we" develop theologies that always magically put ourselves in the best light.

Back to blog


i can’t figure out how to change the likes either. no worries.

Nakedpastor David Hayward

There’s a word in the English for Tony Jones: He’s called “a bum”! The bum left his wife and three young children so he could go off and have an affair with another woman. The bum abandoned his wife and children! The bum wants us to feel sorry for him as he has a ‘pity party’ as they call it in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. The bum had an affair with a woman who was also married (imagine the pain her now ex-husband was put through and the betrayal?).

Tony Jones needs to man-up and grow-up and QUIT BEING A BUM! He needs to make real amends to ALL of the people that he has harmed. He needs to make a LIVING AMENDS by stopping all of his crass, awful abusive behavior toward his ex-wife.

He needs to make an amends to her, his children, family, friends, and even Courtney’s ex-husband. These two selfish people – Tony and Courtney – thought nothing of destroying countless lives around them! Bums both of them!!!


I find it rather arrogant that he has “created” a theology of sacramental marriage when the Catholic Church has already thoroughly outlined the stipulations as far back as the 10th century. You can read them here:
So yes, there is a separation between a sacramental marriage and a legal marriage (any canon lawyer can tell you that), but to twist and wield this theology in order to undermine his marriage to his first wife is completely inappropriate, which I believe is a gross understatement. According to Catholic theology of sacramental marriage (you know the one that has been refined for thousands of years), his first marriage might be just as sacramental as the second. If that is true, then his second “marriage” was a violation of the sacramentality of the original marriage and nothing more than an affair (which most people have already pointed out).


@Jo, sorry for the “dislike” I really meant to “like” your post and now I can’t undo it! UGH!


“I can see your point even though I still stick by mine!”

Oh, wait. I agree with you!

DDM :^)

Daniel Maurer

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