YOU AND YOUR PARTNER DON’T BELIEVE THE SAME WAY ANYMORE

deconstruction, relationships -

YOU AND YOUR PARTNER DON’T BELIEVE THE SAME WAY ANYMORE

marriage deal breaker cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

YOU AND YOUR PARTNER DON’T BELIEVE THE SAME WAY ANYMORE

When Lisa and I first met in Bible College I asked her a series of questions to make sure she checked out.  

“Do you believe in substitutionary atonement?” 
“Were you baptized? Full immersion or sprinkling?” 
“Did you speak in tongues when you were filled with the Spirit?”
“Will you recognize me as head of the household and submit to me?”

NO. I. DIDN’T!

The first thing I noticed when I first saw her was a strikingly beautiful woman. 

Her dark hair, skin and body in her tight jeans. Jeepers!

When I finally got a chance to meet her, I was fascinated by her gentleness, wildness, feistiness, sensuality, wisdom.

I fell in love with her.
And she with me.
We married.

Our beliefs never entered the contract. 

Some might say belief was assumed because we found each other within the same belief system and organization.

But I claim I would have figured out a way to spend the rest of my life with her.

Years later when Lisa and I were deconstructing, our marriage went through a rough patch. We weren’t sure we were going to make it. We thought, because our beliefs were changing, that we lost the glue that held us together. We were scared.

But after we stopped freaking out, we realized that compatibility of beliefs wasn’t the glue that held us together. Rather, it was our mutual awe for one another. We got in touch with the primal urge that drew us together. We rekindled the original flame. We remembered we fell in love with the thinker, not the thoughts, with the spiritual person, not the spiritual concepts.

We resurrected our first love that’s deeper than all thought.

You can too.


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