brand new Sophia drawing: “Longing”

sophia longing art cartoon drawing by nakedpastor david hayward
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Sophia “Longing”

(Get the original or a reproduction of this drawing for 35% OFF! Use code “davidanniversary”.)

“As the deer longs for streams of living water, so my soul longs for you.”

Desire is strange.
Longing is mysterious.
Wanting is perplexing.

On the one hand I grasp the necessity of contentment.
On the other hand I grasp the necessity of change.

I was told I had everything I needed.
I thought therefore I had everything I wanted.

The hardest question for me to answer was, “What do you want?” It was impossible to reply. I didn’t know what I wanted. I only knew what everyone else wanted. In giving them everything I gave them nothing.

Especially me!
In meeting their needs I withheld myself from them
because I withheld myself from myself.

Then one day I awakened to realize that my contentment was my captors’.
My contentment was actually a paralysis.
A coping mechanism for my powerlessness.

As soon as I realized this I was empowered.
So I embraced it and broke free.
I stood for myself.
I proclaimed, “This is me! And this is what I want!”

Finally I feel my own hunger!
Finally I taste my own thirst!

I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. I’ve been looking for a long time. Therefore, I conclude, that searching is our default setting. When I came to peace with this, I came to peace with everything.

The search is the goal.
There is no path to somewhere.
The path is the destination.

Now I am at once hungry and full.
Thirsty and satisfied.
Searching and finding.
Content and changing.

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3 Replies to “brand new Sophia drawing: “Longing””

  1. Finding yourself content because you’ve learned that it’s ok to want and have desires.

    You know, sometimes when I look at one of your Sophia drawings, the woman in me can’t help but wonder if she ever gets cold and uncomfortable (physically) because of her nakedness. I get that it’s symbolic and all, but I can’t help that initial reaction LOL

  2. The hardest question for me, too, especially when I was young, was “What do you want?” I vaguely felt that I wanted something, but I had no idea what it was. “What do you want to do with your life?” I dunno. Just live it. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I just want to be me.
    David, I think you were taught well to realize you had everything you needed. I think that far more of us are taught that there’s so much we need to go out and find somewhere. I suppose both approaches can be extreme.
    We’re encouraged to want and desire, and our society is increasingly based on that. So how’s that working for us? Not too well. As Joni Mitchell put it, we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.
    Longing, though, is more intense, somehow more primal than desire. I think the basic longing we all feel is to be back in that garden.
    Your post is very poetic. As for the art, it speaks to something deep in my soul. It took me about two seconds yesterday to decide to order a print. (I’m a bit slow sometimes.)
    Happy anniversary, and thank you.

  3. Robin: I sometimes feel the same way. I’m endeavoring to express her vulnerability and strength at the same time.

    Lutek: Thank you so much!

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