exposure

The price of my original art and prints is going back up this weekend. Take advantage of the low prices. Especially if you want to own an original Sophia drawing. Go to my online art gallery for originals and prints now.

This poor pastor lives under the constant fear of being discovered. I had lived under the same fear of my people discovering what I really thought about some theological issues. I know many pastors who live under the constant fear of their deepest selves, their deepest questions, their deepest doubts, their deepest convictions that aren’t popular or orthodox, being discovered.

Exposure in harsh conditions can be brutal.

I encourage people to become confident in who they are, what they are, and what they believe to be true. Live from that first. It takes great conviction and courage because the ramifications could be severe.

They will discover in time… it is my hope… that they are happiest to be authentically themselves than to live up to the fantasies and expectations of others.

Many people have broken free of their fear and either have been discovered, allowed themselves to be discovered, or exposed themselves. They are happier for it.

If you haven’t bought my book of cartoons, you simply must. Nakedpastor101: Cartoons by David Hayward“, from amazon.com, amazon.ca, amazon.de. Great for laughs and serious discussion!

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22 Replies to “exposure”

  1. “as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    The sad thing is that there are people in the congregation who are having the same feelings, doubts, and questions, but the assumption is that they are alone.

  2. If people cant accept you as you are then they probably arent worth being friends with in the first place. My question is what is it that you want and are you ‘really’ getting it from the friends you have.

    I have learnt that life is too short to play games – we have to be who we are. Then people will be drawn to the confidence we exude from being ourselves.

    Easier said than done, I know, but its really worth a shot cos ‘real’ friends are worth their weight in gold.

    When I came out as Deaf and stopped trying to be hearing it was a struggle but now its a part of who I am and everyone accepts me that way. When I came out as same sex attracted and opp sex attracted such a lot of depression fell away – all that repression from my teens to then was wiped away. Mind you it wasnt easy – I had to deal with homophobia that had been instilled into me from a very early age – plus I related more to women than men so it was difficult making the adjustments and learning and understanding abt myself. But I am wayyy happier than I was. Still got lots to deal with but way, way way happier. :)))))))

  3. We have gay people in our church. No problem.

    They are sinners just like everyone else is.

    It only becomes a problem when they want the church to AFFIRM their sin.

    We won’t do that for anybody in our congregation.

  4. I like science. It helps frame ‘belief’ in reality. Unfortunately, a reality of evolution, and genetics, and social structure, and biology and physiology and chemistry… is that we are a pretty diverse crowd, and there aren’t always easy answers. One could (and I have a sibling that often does) argue that pedophilia isn’t a ‘choice’ and we don’t consider that ‘okay’. My answer is that pedophiles, and murderous psychopaths, for that matter… are often slaves to their genetics to a degree. That said, there is nothing ‘functional’ in how they live their lives. I have blue eyes due to genetics, I have anxiety issues in part due to a family prevalence going back a number of generations.

    As a believing Christian at the time, I totally gave up on the ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’ view of homosexuality (or trans/ gay/ queer/ bi/ lesbian/ etc) when I saw the terribly violence and hatred, and when I finally figured that if we have hermaphrodites, then if “God” couldn’t even make us physically ‘right’ then who the hell was I to questing him making us psychologically/ physiologically ‘right’.

    Science and logic are nice eye-opening realities to what is ‘human’, what is functional/ dysfunctional, and to varying degrees what is ‘nature’ versus ‘nurture’.

    I’m finding it a bit sad that ‘organized religions’ of most stripes, still maintain beliefs that oppress people, and incite disapporval, hate, and sometimes to the point of death, for any number of people, for any number of ‘sins’ and ‘crimes’. Especially when ‘organized religions’ are responsible for so many sins and crimes themselves.

    There is no “THE CHURCH”… it does not exist. There are churches, there are church traditions, there are temples, and synagogues, and alters, and rooms, and people, and creeds, and doctrines, but there is no ‘The Church’.

    People want their rights as humans. Personally I don’t care if any particular church ‘affirms’ me, I don’t need a church’s ‘affirmation’. Since there are many churches/creeds, etc, then there is nothing wrong with people trying to change a church from within, churches have been changing on what is a ‘sin’ or not, for hundreds and hundreds of years.

    /rant

  5. Seth,

    I’m sure they have many, as do I. But the one sin that sometimes gays want the church to affirm is their having sex with the same sex. This is a sin as the Scriptures bear witness to it in many places.

    You may disagree, and that is fine. But I will stick with the Scriptures on the question.

  6. It’s not what others think of us which makes us acceptable to God, and thus to ourselves. It’s the fact that we belong to Jesus, that God loves us and has accepted us. Stop. Whatever else you say about self acceptance comes not from God but from self-verification, from trying to comply with your chosen moral standards, new mirrors, which is NOT a christian means of self acceptance. It is not US who accept and love others because we are so confident that we can now become new judges of morality (for or against any kind of behaviour) but God’s love in us, and we shouldn’t eat of that apple again, because then we’re in fact asking God to judge us again under the law. Our mirror is Christ.

  7. With all due respect Steve Martin, what is sin is purely a matter of interpretation imho. Why shouldnt the church affirm gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, intersex and queer and questioning people. Jesus doesnt mention any of these once in the gospels. In other words if it wasnt important enough to rate a mention in the gospels then it really is a minor side issue compared to the social issues that appear repeatedly throughout the bible. Issues like caring for the widow, the orphan and the stranger. The bible does not refer to homosexuality in many places. There are only 6-8 verses/passages throughout the bible which Christians may refer to as referring to homosexuality. That these passages refer to homosexuality as we know it today is refutable if they are studied properly. If Jesus didnt mention homosexuality as a sin then I dont think he was worried about it being a sin like so many Christians are today. Imho the church has an unholy and unhealthy fixation on sin – if the church is to call itself Christian then it should get on with the business of following Jesus’ teachings rather than this fixation on sin. Also the doctrine of Original sin is an interpretation of scripture too – doesnt mean its right.

  8. Wow! Steve Martin:
    I long for the day when the whole gender issue is blown away for good. There are straights, gays, and everything in between in the human spectrum. In the animal kingdom, too, so what’s the reason for that, considering animals are supposed to be without sin? Until we realize that and stop demonizing people for their expressions of love ( and please don’t tell me that gays don’t experience love in their relationships – I’ve been told that before – )we will never really love, only judge. Then, according to the scriptures, the judgment will come down on us.

    You would no doubt be shocked at what goes on in the bedrooms of your heterosexual congregation. As far as I can ascertain from my research, straights behave exactly the same as gays in moments of passion, depending on what they are into. A buffet of delights, pick and choose. Apparently, that’s fine as long as they are Christians, and praising God while they’re …..Honestly, that is what some churches teach – I can barely believe it. That kind of teaching allows for all kinds of marital abuse, when the other partner isn’t keen, but that’s okay, I guess, because they’re straight and as pure as the driven snow.(Notice a little anger creeping in here, but it’s righteous anger, so I’m told)

    Hope I haven’t offended anyone, but God invented sex. Sometimes I think we’re stil living in the middle ages. There are better fights to pick than whether someone loves someone of the opposite gender. And if you really want to go literal with the scriptures, you’d have to ban women wearing pants, women without hats, women who wear jewellery, women who speak their minds at coffee time after the service, men who wear clothing woven from various threads, and forget those hot dogs at the church BBQ – pigs are dirty animals NOT TRUE – and so on and so on.

    My rant is now over, but don’t worry I”LL BE BACK. And I’m not even gay, just sick and tired of all the ignorance.

  9. @Ant and @Crystal – Thanks.

    @Nancy T. – Very logical and yes, I agree with the human rights aspect.

    @Steve – You’ll never attract diversity to your church and maybe you are happy that way. Just keep it white, straight, and ignorant while the rest of the world progresses forward.

  10. “Just keep it white, straight, and ignorant while the rest of the world progresses forward.”
    Typical liberal spew….
    Steve I admire your stance. These people automatically confuse your stance with some kind of persecution…I’ve stepped into this hornets nest before…do you want to borrow my bee keeper suit?

  11. tony:
    Liberal in my thinking, and proud of it. I don’t think this blog veers towards right wing conservatism in any way, otherwise I wouldn’t be on it. I wonder why you are if ” typical liberal spew” gets you all fired up to wear a bee keeper suit.

  12. Ok, Steve. Perhaps I’m stepping in it now, but…

    What about David’s cartoon? What would happen if your congregation found out that the Pastor is gay?

  13. @Crystal – Thanks and me too!

    @Christine – Heh, I don’t even want to speculate what would happen…

  14. Steve Martin:

    Yes, what would you do if your pastor turned out to be gay?

    Funny thing is, I have been thinking that you are the pastor in your church by your various comments. Perhaps you are in “leadership” so my question still applies. Some questions do deserve answers when they are so important.

  15. Ok, so maybe Steve isn’t going to respons to that. (if you just haven’t gotten to it yet, Steve, I’d still appreciate your answer.)

    I’m just thinking that, if everyone is sinning, and the pastor isn’t insisting that everyone else affirm anything and is happy to simply keep his job – how does that work exactly?

    By that logic, I can only assume that Steve’s church ordains gay men and women.

    By extension, I assume they probably also recognize the de facto families headed by same-sex couples, even if they view them as not ideal or even legitimate (like common-law families, or second marriage families). Even their need for legal protection, especially for their cheildren, must be readily acknowledged, even if the church wouldn’t be willing to preform a commitment ceremony themselves.

    In fact, a gay coupld and their kids must be doewn-right embraced a normal sinners just like everyone else and whole-heartedly accepted.

    Good for you, Steve. Only sounds half bad.

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