Here we see a family going through deconstruction.
Each one alone.
Why not do it together?
For example, with your spouse:
I keep saying communication is key.
Communication is critical.
Communication is the cure.
Here’s some advice about communicating about your deconstruction with your loved ones:
1. Arrange a time.
2. Promise you’ll try to not get defensive. Just speak descriptively.
3. Promise you’ll try to not get judgmental. Just listen without evaluating.
4. Have drinks while you talk (Lisa and I have “scotch and Bailey’s nights”).
5. Settle in for a long talk.
6. If you have trouble articulating where you are, just try.
7. Determine to be honest. Share your emotions, not just your thoughts.
8. Don’t be insecure. Pretend you’re not emotionally invested in the other.
9. Trust the other is on their journey not by accident but by choice.
10. Realize it’s not going to get settled today. This is a process.
I want to share something with you:
Honesty is sexy.
Connecting through honest communication can be very alluring.
Finding compatibility at a deeper level can be very sensual.
Discovering new facets of your spouse can be very romantic.
Who knows where this could lead?
For Lisa and I, it lead to a reboot for our marriage and our relationship’s better than it’s ever been.
Give it a shot!
(I do provide coaching for this issue. Email me if you’re interested.)