new drawing interpreting the complications of deconstruction

"Deconstruction" drawing by nakedpastor David Hayward
“Deconstruction” drawing by nakedpastor David Hayward

[Like this drawing? Buy the original HERE.]
I spent a long drawing this. It was a kind of flow-of-consciousness experiment. I just set my pen to the paper and let the pen go where it willed. This is what resulted.

When I posted this on Facebook yesterday, someone asked me if I could explain it. I don’t usually like to explain my art. I saw a saying once, “Explanations kill art.” And to a large extent I agree. But in this case, because it is a rather complicated drawing, I think it deserves a bit of an explanation.

Deconstruction is something I talk about a lot. It’s a word I use to describe the changing of our beliefs, the loss of them, or even the loss of our faith. It is not an easy road, usually. In fact, in my experience and from my observations, it is a treacherous road that needs to be travelled with caution. It’s like climbing a mountain or diving into an abyss or blazing a trail through wilderness. Great care must be taken or you could lose yourself.

My deconstruction was treacherous. A lot of what you see in this picture depicts it. There were things I resorted to for comfort… smoking, sex, alcohol. There were times of incredible insight, incredible pain, incredible confusion, incredible peace, incredible joy. You can see Sophia there. I drew over 60 Sophia images during that time and even wrote a book about her story with all the images and meditations. You can see death looming there. A TV where a man is watching movies as a way of numbing himself against the pain of reality… another way of escape. You can see the bible being blown apart. The temptation in the Garden. A whale that dives deep. A ladder to heaven that is broken, as well as the cross that has snapped in two. A lonely loaf of communion bread with no one sharing it. A pierced hand. A fallen angel. Trap doors and mazes. Nightmares and fantasies.

It came to a point where I just had to stop and say, “It is finished!” So, it’s finished. I don’t expect anyone to like it or want it. It was just something I had to do. Like most of my art. Inspiration drives me.

Deconstruction is what The Lasting Supper is about. If you are deconstructing or are about to and want help and friendship, come, pull up a chair to our table, and enjoy The Lasting Supper with us! I’ll personally welcome you and introduce you to the group of amazing folks.

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4 Replies to “new drawing interpreting the complications of deconstruction”

  1. This resonates with me. How? would be too difficult to describe but it reminds me of the peace I’ve arrived at too.

    Many many thanks

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