Reverse is a legitimate gear in spiritual growth.
In fact, all the gears are at some point or another for some period of time.
We must know by now that our personal and spiritual growth is never linear, but often cyclical and sometimes could even look like the scribbles of a child.
Let’s talk about reverse. Or relapse.
I’ve not only observed it in others. I’ve experienced it for myself!
That is, I will go through a kind of deconstruction of a belief. Sometimes I react to a belief I no longer feel can hold up. I’ll go long in the other direction.
Then, after my anger or frustration or sadness or disappointment or rebellion is over, I often come back to a more reasonable, rational, and less reactionary posture.
I think this is normal.
I’ve seen it in some, however, where they relapse to an even more conservative position than they were before… probably to protect themselves from ever approaching that dreadful line in the sand again. They don’t like how deconstruction feels, so they avoid it at all costs.
But, this is a reaction too.
What I help people do is to experience and exercise their own freedom. They can end up wherever they want… without shame, fear, or guilt. That’s the goal! Your own personal freedom and your enjoyment of it. Whether you end up a believer or an agnostic or an atheist… this is secondary to me. What is primary is your personal spiritual independence. That’s it.
So don’t worry if you’re constantly ebbing and flowing in what you believe or don’t believe. This is as natural as the tide!
Just observe. Just enjoy. Just relax.
Because you are not the tide. You are the ocean!