3 Steps to End Being Spiritual Abused

refuse to be abused cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

Description: A woman leaves a church and says to the pastor on her way out, “You will never see me again because I refuse to be abused any longer!”

3 Steps to End Being Spiritual Abused

Here are 3 easy steps that I think are most important:

1. Tear back the mystique surrounding your abuser.

Reject the idea that a pastor is a holy and untouchable being, who lives in a different moral atmosphere, can never do something wrong, and who even if they do something you wonder about you believe it must be God whose ways are higher than our ways so it must be okay. Pastors are people too and live on the same ethical plain as you. No halos!

2. Learn emotions.

Many people do not understand emotions, can’t name them, and can’t tell what they are feeling. Emotional intelligence! There are courses for it. If you can’t name your feelings, read about them and learn to tell when you’re feeling hurt, vulnerable, used, angry, afraid, shamed, and helpless. Then, when someone is spiritually assaulting you, you can discern it for what it is: abuse!

3. Walk away!

Do it when you’re safe to do so. But the bottom line is you don’t have to suffer abuse. I’ve walked away. Many times. Yes it’s hard. There are ramifications. But these are the choices I made for myself rather than being the victim of someone else’s choices. You don’t deserve abuse. You don’t have to tolerate abuse. You don’t have to protect the abuser’s feelings or reputation. Walk! Or run!

That’s it! I hope this helps.

If you're not sure if you've been spiritually abused I wrote a blog post titled, What is Spiritual Abuse? And how to recognize when it is happening to you.

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