Be Done With Shame!

Be Done With Shame!

done with shame cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

Description: A woman leaves a church. The pastor says, “Shame on you for leaving!” She replies, “No! I’m done with shame. Which is why I’m leaving!” 


When I left the church in 2010 there was a feeling of ostracizing myself, alienating myself, separating myself, removing myself. I was now outside the organized church and it was my fault. I made an important choice that was very public. I was the one who left. This was my doing. Yes, the situation had come to the point where it was unbearable and impossible for me to stay. But it was still me who left. 

But along with this feeling I noticed something else happening. I noticed that the feeling of being disqualified, invalid, illegitimate, even ashamed, tried to creep in. Not only did I leave. I felt people expected me to be humiliated for leaving. Ashamed. People were even embarrassed FOR me. Remember, I not only left the church. I also left the ministry.  

But, I immediately knew that this feeling was wrong and unnecessary. 

Here’s an analogy:

I am a Canadian living in Canada. Even if I travel to Australia, I’m still a Canadian. Even if I move to Mozambique for the rest of my life, I am still a Canadian. I am no less valid a Canadian no matter where I am than the little old lady who never leaves Small Town, New Brunswick, Canada. 

My point is: Remember who you are.  

You are not disqualified. Don’t be ashamed. You are okay just as you are where you are.  

Be courageous and confident because you carry your identity with you.  

You haven’t left you behind.

You’ve only left that which tried to limit, destroy, and shame you.

Be done with shame!

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