"Still Love Me" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
GET A PRINT OF THIS CARTOON
I remember when this happened with Lisa and me. It was a very sad and scary time. It lasted for a couple of years. I seriously wondered if we were going to survive it.
Many marriages don't. I know this because I talk with these people all the time. My online community, The Lasting Supper, is full of people who struggle with their changing beliefs within a marriage. They need a safe place to talk about it. That's what we endeavor to provide.
My most important piece of advice I give to people who are going through this is just one thing: communicate! Talk about it! Communication is absolutely the most important ingredient to any relationship, but especially a relationship that is going through traumatic change.
Because when one of you changes the other one has to as well. This is what love does. True love, healthy relationships, a good marriage, is like dancing through change.
But, if you don't talk honestly, opening, vulnerably, and authentically, about everything, then it's much harder to navigate these rough waters.
Talk! Talk! Talk!
I know it's scary. It IS scary to say, "Will you love me if I change?" because it requires honesty, and honesty often comes with discomfort because our security is challenged.
But, what I've discovered, is that talking about it has a greater return of success than not talking about it.
If you haven't learned how to communicate at this level of honesty, start now! Yes, it's hard. But if you want to save your marriage, it's worth it. Isn't it?
I know it has been worth it for Lisa and me. We are not identical spiritually... like we used to be. We are very different. But we talk about it and love each other in our individuality and uniqueness now more than ever. Communication is worth it!
If you need a safe place to talk about how your faith and beliefs are changing and how it's affecting your relationships, then CLICK HERE
to check out The Lasting Supper.
¬†It really is an amazing place to process stuff and to vent and to find support.
If you need to talk with me about coaching you and your partner's relationship through this change, email me
and we can talk about it.