Challenging Spiritual Abuse and Validating Your Story

deserve abuse cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward


When you feel vulnerable and brave enough to share one of your stories of spiritual abuse, you sometimes get the reaction you didn’t want. 

Sometimes your story of abuse is minimized: “That happens all the time in churches. You’re making too big a deal of it. It’s normal! You’re just too sensitive.”

Sometimes your story of abuse is dismissed: “I wouldn’t call that abuse. I think they were just trying to push you to be a more righteous person.” 

Sometimes your story of abuse is not believed: “I can’t believe he would do that! Are you sure you’re not misinterpreting his intentions? He’s so anointed!”

Sometimes your story of abuse is turned on you: “Are you sure you didn’t do something to provoke him to do that to you?” 

I know these are common responses to spiritual abuse because I’ve heard them. 

They’re the same kind of responses some women get who are abused by their partners. 

I know because they tell me this all the time. 

One of the biggest obstacles to our stories of spiritual abuse being believed is that people worship the Church and its leaders and can’t bear the thought of them harming you.

So they will minimize it, dismiss it, and not believe it. 

They’d rather not hear the truth that might challenge the lies they believe about the Church and spiritual leaders. 

Share your story of spiritual abuse here if you want. 

We’ll believe you. And if someone tries to minimize, dismiss, or not believe you, I’ll delete their comment.

Back to blog

1 comment

this reality is so hard! And It is exactly what is happening to me in my place of containment (therapy) and I don’t know what to do! Thank you David for your love and understanding!


Leave a comment