Learn How to Disappoint People

deconstruction, relationships -

Learn How to Disappoint People

i'm really disappointed in you cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

LEARN HOW TO DISAPPOINT PEOPLE 

A necessary part of spiritual growth is knowing you will disappoint people.

Which means you will fail their expectations. 

The Church taught me that I should never cause people to stumble. It’s okay to disappoint the world. Just don’t disappoint the Church and those in authority.

I never really disappointed my parents. 
I never really disappointed the Church. 
I never disappointed anybody. 

But I started disappointing others when I was 27. A spiritual crisis changed me. I knew I was going to disappoint their hopes for me. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to take care of myself first. 

I committed myself to personal transformation.
I stopped disappointing myself rather than others. 
I paid the price. 

When you decide to be true to yourself, you’re going to disappoint people, especially the ones who care about you.

You must commit to authenticity and the change this requires.
Then you must accept that this will disappoint others.
Your commitment to yourself may threaten relationships you care about.

When someone says, “I’m disappointed in you!”, you now know it’s their problem and they’re trying to make it yours by asking you to fall back in line.  

They’d rather you do the work to change back than them do the work to change forward. 

Their disappointment is based on an illusion anyway. Not the real you. Their expectations are their hopes and fantasies for you, not yours for yourself. These really have nothing to do with you, but with them. 

Maybe this will help some of you: Jesus made a career of disappointing people. Not because he wanted to but because he had a higher calling than theirs to fulfill for himself.

Commit to change. 
You will disappoint others.
But you won’t disappoint yourself.


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