Loving Relationships and Changing Beliefs

"Just Questioning My Beliefs" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

Description: A woman comforts her husband who is crying, “Honey, I didn’t say I was dying, I just said I’m questioning my beliefs!”


If you are one of the people in this cartoon, I have a warning and some good news.

It’s very scary when the person you love changes.

The person you’ve always loved has always been a certain way. Now they’re not. They are becoming someone else! Maybe someone you didn’t sign up for.

I think pre-marital counseling must include warnings that the person you love right now, sitting right here in front of you, that you are absolutely head over heels over, is going to change.

This includes their beliefs. Your partner may one day not be the steadfast believer you know,  love and respect today.

Lisa and I have been married for 40 years. Our beliefs have changed so dramatically that back then we wouldn’t have recognized ourselves now.

But here’s the good news: we’re not just different, we’re better!


Because we’ve grown. We’ve developed. We’re more independent and authentic. We’re more ourselves than ever before. We are evolving into who we really are. We’ve courageously stepped up to personal growth.

It’s like a blossoming. Yes, we’ve changed. But we’ve also burst open and are more beautiful than ever.

Yes, it can be sad, shocking, and grievous to say goodbye to the former selves.

But it can be exciting to say hello to the newer selves.

When we say “I do promise to love this person”, you’re not just saying it to the person you see now, but to the person they will fully become that you haven’t even had a glimpse of yet.

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