Sharing Your Deconstruction and More Wine

more wine cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

A man looking over his wife’s shoulder at her laptop says, “If you’re going to share that about yourself then I need to go out and get us some more wine!”


Jesus said, “Do not cast your pearls before swine.”

When you’re deconstructing don’t share it with people who won’t appreciate it. Don’t trust people who will hurt you. Your pearls mean nothing to pigs.

1. NEVER SHARE PUBLICLY unless you’re ready. There are too many pigs waiting to trample you. I know! I expose myself (hence “nakedpastor”) but I do it purposefully. I get hurt but I’m on a mission. Don’t share unless you must!

2. DON’T TRUST PIGS. Even if they’re family or friends. Especially not strangers! If someone won’t appreciate your story, don’t fantasize they will. People who don’t care won’t care! They will scold you or squeal on you. Don’t share until they’ve proven trustworthy.

3. TEST THE TRUST. If people inquire and you’d like to share, start with a test. You could say, “If a friend was questioning their beliefs, I would totally support them!” Watch their reaction. If it’s positive, maybe they’ve passed the test. Share! If they react negatively, do not share!

4. TRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY. If someone proves trustworthy, trust them. Go as far as feels safe. Don’t dive into the deep end. Wade in. Too many trust too many too soon too often. And they get hurt. It’s wise to protect yourself. It isn’t selfish. It’s self-care.

I hope you find people to share yourself with. I love and build safe spaces. I promise never to trample on you. I’m sure everyone here promises the same.


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