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I draw a lot of cartoons about religious abuse, manipulation and coerion in churches. This is my most recent cartoon about the use of shame in the church.
Wouldn't that be nice to witness?
Shame is a powerful emotion. So, many weaponize it.
The interesting thing is that when I talk about shame, people rush to its defense. Why? Because it works. People who use shame would rather you conform than transform. It’s one thing to think, “I didn’t do that and I should have” or “I did that and I shouldn’t have”. It’s another thing to think you are a terrible person who can never measure up to the standards set for you by yourself and others.
My advice to people who feel shame:
Think of yourself as a winner who stumbled, not as a loser who will never amount to anything.
My advice to people who use shame to manipulate others:
Be like the pastor in this cartoon.