A young woman is surrounded by her family staring intently at her. The caption: "Can you tell which family member is deconstructing?"
How to deal with your family when you’re deconstructing. Some suggestions:
You’re no longer an evangelist. You always had to be ready to share your faith. Now you don’t have to change anyone’s mind. You don’t have to convert them and you don’t need to be converted. You can accept people where they’re at and expect them to do the same for you. You can just be you with them even if they don’t like it. This is about peace.
- You’re in control of your life, not your family. Even if you were in a controlling home, you’re an adult now. An independent thinker! When you’re with people with differing beliefs, you’re still an independent thinker. They don’t control your thoughts. So don’t panic. You don’t have to believe them. This is about freedom.
You decide how to respond. For me there’s active or passive mode. Active mode is when it’s about me and people want to know what I think. Passive mode is when it’s not about me and people want to just hang out. It’s not a lack of integrity to choose to be silent. This is about self-control.
People don’t want to change their beliefs. So you won’t change them. But when they do start to question their beliefs, it manifests as genuine curiosity. This is when you can share your thoughts. Don’t argue or debate. It’s a waste of time.
You’re no longer required to change anyone’s mind.
You’re in control of how you speak.
Share your thoughts only when you want to.