Devotions or Doubts

deconstruction, relationships -

Devotions or Doubts

"Devotions or Doubts" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

"LOVING THEM"

Love who people are and who they are becoming.

It didn’t take long for Lisa and I to realize that we didn’t marry stone statues.

We were both committed to growth. Our own and each other’s.

We were young, passionate believers. But that wasn’t the core of who we were.

I saw a glimpse of who Lisa was… a woman who at that time chose to be a passionate believer.

Same with me. Even though I chose at the time to be a passionate believer, the me who chose that was a person who made that choice.

Lisa’s expression of herself felt harmonious with who she was. Same with me.

I didn’t say “I do” to a Pentecostal woman, but to a woman who expressed herself as a Pentecostal woman. Her promise to me was to someone who chose to be Pentecostal then.

We took these expressions seriously and never predicted they’d change. We didn’t marry the expression, but the one expressing.

See the difference? Because this is important.

When we went through our separate deconstructions, and because we respect how we each express ourselves, it was difficult to get beneath the expressions of who we were then. We were pastoring a church, were faithful church-goers and steadfast believers. But we had to rediscover that we weren’t really those things. There was someone more essential making our choices.

Beneath our chaotic changes of expression were the David and the Lisa who fell in love so many years ago

We love them in their devotion and in their doubt. Because it’s not their devotion or doubt we love, but them.


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