4 Books for Deconstruction & Why I’m Hesitant to Recommend Them

I’ve been asked for a while now to write a post on book recommendations on the topic of deconstruction. It’s time to admit that I’ve had difficulty fulfilling this request. Why? Because it’s the wrong question.

Let me explain…

Deconstruction is About Finding Your Own Path

The most important factor of deconstruction is finding and expressing your spiritual independence. It means becoming the captain of your own ship and the master of your own destiny. It means climbing out from under authority and becoming self-determining. It means no longer searching or waiting for permission and approval and living autonomously.

So, when someone asks for good books to read on deconstruction, my concern is that they are still looking for someone with spiritual authority as a role model for their own spiritual journey. The problem with this is that they may fall into the same old trap of submission to spiritual authority and delay their own launch into the unlimited freedom that awaits them.

This is something that is deeply misunderstood about deconstruction. It seems that for most, it’s about finding better beliefs. But, there’s no point in rearranging the furniture on a sinking ship. Many people do this by tweaking these or those beliefs, hoping to make their spiritual lives less immature and more palatable.

It’s a Journey & a Search

What happens when one embarks on this kind of a spiritual journey is an unquenchable thirst for validation and an incessant search for more information.

It’s often out of this need that the request for book recommendations arises.

The better question that might be asked, instead of, “What books can you recommend on deconstruction?”, might be, “How can I finally be free of my need to make sure I’m okay and not doing this wrong?”. Because, when it comes right down to it, like I’ve always said… there’s only one way to deconstruct, and that’s your way.

Which means you are now free to explore, discover, and be your most authentic self, and that you have the right and responsibility and the reward of figuring out what that looks like.

In this context, I would hesitate to recommend books that instruct you how to deconstruct correctly. I would, instead, recommend books that share how they did it. And there are lots of books out there that do just this.

Am I the Hypocrite?

Now, I know some people will accuse me of being hypocritical because I’m telling you how I think you should deconstruct. But, really, am I? I’m telling you there is no correct way, and that your new way of life is one of radical freedom that cannot and should not be relegated or legislated. Some accuse me, when I say, “You’re free! Go and discover how to be you!”, that I’m actually telling people how to be free… that I’m forcing them to be free and to be themselves, and therefore they are not free from instructions. But, really, is that true? To me, it sounds like a child’s response to, “You’re free to go!”, the child says, “You’re not the boss of me!”.

4 Books for Deconstruction

All of this to say that I don’t really recommend books on deconstruction… unless you appreciate memoirs, and unless you appreciate books that set the process we call deconstruction into the normal process of spiritual growth.

So, then, I will recommend a few that fit into these criteria.

1. Out of the Embers: Faith After the Great Deconstruction

My good friend, fellow Canadian and theological Brad Jersak, wrote Out of the Embers: Faith After the Great Deconstruction. This book takes a historical approach to the phenomenon of deconstruction and places it firmly in normal spiritual growth. Deconstruction has become much more of a thing now but it has always been around. It’s just that people are finding more courage to be out loud about it.

The fact that many of us feel we have to leave the church to continue on our spiritual growth journeys is a sign of the times. Brad explores this well.

2. The Lasting Supper: Letters for Deconstruction

Forgive my boldness, but I will recommend my own book, The Lasting Supper: Letters for Deconstruction. I have an online community that I write a letter to every week about deconstruction. It’s filled with advice on anything from leaving the church, surviving spiritual abuse, making friends, working through the struggle of deconstruction, and more.

It’s the kind of book where you can read a letter a day, like a meditation. Many find it very helpful.

3. Deconstructing Your Faith Without Losing Yourself

Another book, by my friend, Angela J. Herrington, is Deconstructing Your Faith Without Losing Yourself. It’s a good overview of what many of us experience during deconstruction. I like it and recommend it because it doesn’t tell you how to do it, but how to travel the road of deconstruction without giving up who you are. It helps you grow more into who you really are, rather than what religion has told you to be.

4. The Deconstruction of Christianity: What It Is, Why It’s Destructive, and How To Respond

And now, I’m going to mention a book that is against deconstruction, and refers to me many times, by Alisa Childers and Tim Barnett, The Deconstruction of Christianity: What It Is, Why It’s Destructive, and How To Respond. I appreciate the book because it actually illustrates why many of us are deconstructing— we are done with being told how to think, what to believe, and how to live, accompanied by warnings, threats, and rebukes.

This book encapsulates exactly why I deconstructed, left the ministry, and walked away from the church. I’m glad to be out from under its authority and control that this book embodies.

The Only Way to Deconstruct is Your Way

Okay, that’s it for now. There are lots of memoirs out there from people who have deconstructed that you could find just by searching on google or anywhere books are sold. But what I hope you walk away from this post with is a sense that you get to decide how to be spiritual. Sure, be inspired by others.

But in the end it’s up to you.

You’re free!