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If you like The NakedJournal, you'll enjoy my weekly newsletter about deconstruction, freedom, and life in general.
I enjoy watching bull riding. So does my mom. Once when I was visiting her we were watching the Calgary Stampede and enjoy the bull riding competition.
And... it reminded me of deconstruction.
But it lasts longer than the 8 seconds of bull riding.
There are, in my opinion, two levels of spiritual deconstruction: theological and ecclesiological.
That is, we change our beliefs, and we change our relationship to the church.
For most of us, both of these transitions are extremely difficult.
Theological deconstruction can be full of mental anguish. Mine was. And it lasted for decades.
Then, in 2009, I finally found the peace of mind I always sought. And it's remained!
Then, leaving the church can be painful. In 2010, I left the ministry and the church.
I also left the context where my friends and social life existed almost in their entirety.
I also left my vocation, income, and sense of purpose.
Now, 7 years later, I can safely say I made it. I'm feeling really good inside and out.
How did I get here?
The number one reason is I had people to talk with, one-on-one.
I hired a coach! She is awesome, and really helped me become whole again. Talking with her on the phone once a week made all the difference in the world. I put the money down and got what I paid for: my health! I would do it all over again! (Wait‚ I am already! I always use a coach and always will.) I've coached people my whole adult life‚ as a pastor and now as a kind of spiritual teacher.
Years ago I heard a pastor I admire say that a pastor's job is to help people transition from point A to point B. I knew when he said it that that's exactly what I wanted to do.
I love helping people through their spiritual transitions.
Deconstruction to me is spiritual progress. It's spiritual evolution. Yes, it hurts‚ like growing pains! But it's oh so worth it!
Thousands of people see my cartoons and posts every day. Anyone can enjoy these.
I also have an online community called The Lasting Supper.
This my way of helping as many people as I can through some of the most traumatic periods of their spiritual formation.
But nothing is more powerful, effective, or fast‚ as one-on-one coaching.
I compare it to when I was in the ministry. People could come to the church services and enjoy what everyone else enjoyed.
Then, there were smaller groups where you could ramp up your spiritual life and involvement.
Then, there were a few people who met with me one-on-one to really work through issues and be more intentional about their spiritual formation.
Look‚ when we deconstruct, we are free to go through it at our own pace. We can take years if we want. Or, if we want to speed up the process and find relief, talking with someone one-on-one helps get it done. I know! I've given it and I've received it. It works! It's worked for me, and I watch it work for others.
There's no need to go it alone. I mean, you can if you want to. Some people do and some of those people make it. At least find a group that gets you. But I always recommend‚ ALWAYS, that you find someone you can process your transition with.
I did and I still do!