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Spiritual abuse is rampant in the church. I want to be clear that there is spiritual abuse as well as sexual abuse, etc., and that these two can occur simultaneously. Although there are so many cases of abuse in churches that involve sexual assault, sexual impropriety and harassment, and physical abuse, I’m distinguishing spiritual abuse as mostly invisible abuse.
I’ve worked with spiritual leaders who were incredibly abusive without ever touching anyone.
(Although one time when I told one of them he was too controlling he poked his finger hard into my chest and told me I needed psychiatric help.)
Manipulation, coercion, and control are often the primary tools of many spiritual leaders.
Of course, I admit complicity because I enjoyed the sense of community around them, the purpose and destiny, the participation in a mission, the joyful activities, the opportunities to get favored, the unquenched feelings of hope and excitement.
But the tradeoff is submitting to the overbearing and controlling authority of the leaders who supply these benefits.
It took a few realizations to free myself:
Walking away from the leeks and onions of controlling and abusive leadership feels risky and scary. But discovering your own land flowing with milk and honey makes it all worthwhile. Believe me!
Here are a list of other blog posts I've written on Spiritual Abuse.