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"The Dangers of Deconstruction"
Here are a few warnings about the dangers of deconstruction.
DEPRESSION: When I left the church I thought I was happy and free. But after a year that I realized I was frozen. I wasn’t feeling anything. I was numb. The chill touched every area of my life.
It’s a coping mechanism for trauma. It’s human, natural, and often healthy. It lets the trauma melt slowly rather than all at once and drown us in shock.
Recognize it, then address it. I got counseling, coaching, and spiritual direction to guide me out of that slump.
CONFUSION: When I left the church the confusion was debilitating.
I now know that when you let a question sit in your mind, eventually the solution comes. When a profound question troubles you, let it germinate. Peace will come that resolves the tension.
You must let the question unlock itself and reveal the deeper truth you are seeking when you’re ready to receive it.
STRAIN: Deconstruction is like mid-life crisis.
The worst time to make decisions is during this time. Endure the strain and wait.
I felt trapped in ministry. Then it became clear that my escape was before me. I took it, and the freedom I felt was amazing. But this trapped feeling infiltrated everything, including my marriage. I wanted no commitments. I wanted to run away from everything.
I’m glad I didn’t. I took my previous advice and didn’t make a decision during a time of confusion.
The strain exposed fault-lines in our relationship and created new ones. But we persevered and our marriage survived.
Depression, confusion and strain. A tough passage but towards a more beautiful place.